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2020 Jan 10 - Prince Harry Resigns

Royal news this week as Prince Harry announced that he and his wife are as fed up with the tabloids as the rest of us, and want to resign from royal life although it's unclear at this stage whether he will be changing his name to "formally known as prince" like the singer or similarly swapping his signature to a strange symbol. I imagine that official calligraphers and people involved with heraldry are more concerned about their job than whoever ends up getting the new job in charge of Iran's military. That was another story this week, the US threatening to drag us all into into World War III, maybe Harry just quit because he was worried he was going to get called up for military service again and a war with Iran would probably be the one thing on this planet potentially more dysfunctional than being in the Royal family.

What we do know is that the decision was a private one and he didn't discuss it with the Queen, or his dad, or Prince Charles for that matter. The public are also being left with more unanswered questions then one of my old latin exams. For all the couple claim a desire to be financially independent they're currently costing the best part of a million quid a year in security details alone; we know that Harry has some cash left to him by his mother but that was a long time ago and we all saw the photos of him in Las Vegas, maybe he has plans to start up some kind of trendy financially sustainable version of Charles' Duchy Originals, like a craft ale brewery, or perhaps he could try the same kind of financial scheme that his prince friends in Nigeria use to earn money

For what it's worth I hope that they do make a decent go of it and stop living on taxpayers money. Although I suspect that the whole thing is driven by an attention seeking desire to spend more time spreading Meghan's woke messages on climate change and gender equality. A message on climate change that will be spread by someone advertising that they plan to spent a large amount of their time flying between the UK and Canada whilst running up a carbon footprint larger than the time his grandmother's castle in Windsor burnt down.

One thing before I end is to raise awareness of the somewhat suppressed scandal involving the revelation that that the Canadian mansion in which the couple recently spent several weeks staying at is allegedly owned by a Russian Billionaire who the couple have refused to name. Still, it's better than the billionaires that Harry's uncle Andy was hanging out with.
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2019 Nov 23 - Prince Andrew Interview

It was a quite extraordinary set of events this week after Prince Andrew decided to put an end to whispers and internet chatter by giving a full interview about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and it turned out to be probably the 2nd worst car crash in royal history. I'd go so far as to say it was actually more cringeworthy tv than that bizarre Royal Family edition of Its A Knockout that Andy and Edward conjured up back in the 80s.

If I was talking to you from a stage, I might ask anyone ......

2019 Oct 15 - State Opening of Parliament

I'm posting a little bit late this week but I guess that's in keeping with the overall Brexit theme this year. Just be glad I don't copy the HS2 delays and send everyone an apology by means of an invoice.

But did anything of note even happen of late? Well actually it was the Queen's Speech, perhaps you didn't notice or maybe you were too full up with turkey and red wine, oh wait no that's the other Queen's speech. This is the one where she reads out whatever Dominic Cummings hands her, which th ......

2019 Aug 10 - Jeremy Corbyn wants The Queen to make him PM

Looking over the news this week, I wondered if the climate protesters were up to their usual tricks in London but it turned out to just be the 50th anniversary of the Beatles Abbey Road album and a bunch of idiots commemorated it by blocking the zebra crossing, which happens to be on a major road, while observing motorists sat motionless, wishing that the fans would start recreating the latter minutes of John Lennon's life.

There's also headlines about a power outage, although on further inspec ......

2018 May 19 - Royal Wedding

It's the weekend of the Royal wedding, the television equivalent of a mandatory powerpoint presentation at work. But crack open some sparkling wine and raise a glass to the thought of a half hour news program featuring no mention of Brexit, Russia meaningful content. For those small shops up and down the land selling small flags and London bus keychains, it's truly a day of celebration. Or if you have zero interest in the whole thing, why not go for a day out at the Legoland in Windsor which I s ......

2018 Apr 27 - Royal Baby + Trump + Macron

This week the UK saw an assault of royal commemorative plates being launched with Kate giving birth to another child and Prince Charles cracking open a tincture of homeopathic champagne to celebrate. The baby weighed just over 8 pounds making it just slightly heavier than the special commemorative supplement you'll be removing from this week's Sunday paper; I guess it's up to you whether you use it for lighting the barbecue or stash it away in a cupboard as an investment, it could potentially tr ......

2017 Dec 02 - Markles & Spencer & Flynn

One of the UK's most popular highstreet stores is Marks & Spencers and if you're a shareholder then you're probably hoping to benefit from the free advertising now offered by the new Royal couple-to-be: Markles and Spencer, also known as Harry and Meghan. I imagine that with those initials, the marketing team at highstreet rival, "H&M" will also be rubbing their hands. The wedding is set for next spring and hopefully won't coincide with the Grand National like when Prince Charles got married. So ......

2017 Sep 07 - Hurricanes and Jeremy Corbyn

Not content with the damage it’s already done to the ExxonMobil share price, the Caribbean has another three storms moving in; the latest one (Hurricane Irma) has pretty much wiped out Barbuda and Hurricanes Jose and Katia are forming out at sea. I suppose hurricanes come in 3 or 4s like busses, although if I was a cyclist I’d frankly rather take my chances with hurricane Irma than take on a Bendy Bus.

The names of these storms by the way are preassigned and go up alphabetically, earlier in ......

2017 Feb 10 - Bercow Dislikes Trump

Speaker of the House, John Bercow, has never been one to be shy away from the press if he can get everyone to see how progressive and ‘right on’ and politically correct and he is. And so this week he decided to let everyone know that he doesn’t like Donald Trump by saying that he wouldn’t be welcome at Westminster. I imagine that a lot of folk would rather John Bercow wasn’t around either, especially his wife when she’s got one of her gentleman friends round.

It’s the hypocrisy t ......