Interesting royal news this week as the internet went into overdrive and a vacuum of information was replaced by a sea of misinformation. The king has not been seen for some time and no information has been given about what kind of cancer he has. Personally I believe in privacy when it comes to someone's medical condition, especially if it's of a sensitive nature but according Twitter the reason for the silence is definitely something to do with reptilian aliens and possibly the Rothschild banking family.

Talking of which, Jacob Rothschild died this last week. He's the person that supposedly controls alls the banks in Europe and whose family scripted the entire 20th century, he's also the person that Mr Burns in the Simpsons is supposedly drawn to resemble. There are videos on TikTok explaining how is death was secretly announced several days earlier when 2 black horses were seen riding down the mall this week, it's also supposedly something to do with masonic numerology, although the number that really sticks out to me is 87. He was 87 years old and people dying of old age is relatively common and absolutely nothing to do with Brexit or the pope or the freemasons. The pope is also busy himself, he's currently ill with the flu, and again I cannot reiterate enough that he is quite old, but let's leave that one until it happens. Just like it has done every couple of years literally since the days of Christ.

Next on the list is Kate Middleton who hasn't been seen this year and is apparently still recovering from surgery. I once heard that abdominal surgery is quite gruelling and she doesn't want grisly photos emerging of her looking haggard, like what happened with Prince Phillip several years ago. Nonetheless a quick search online reveals lots of secret news everything from rehab to divorce to a failed suicide attempt and one video I saw even suggested that secret Jesuit doctors were using her body to harvest stem cells in order to cure Charles. One friend of mine suggested that she was getting plastic surgery and said that despite being a staunch republican, he could be persuaded to be a royalist if she came back with a massive boob job in order to resemble a young Jodie Marsh.

Other dead or missing royals would be Prince Michael of Kent's son-in-law who died aged 46, and Prince William chose to miss the memorial service of his godfather, the late King Constantine of Greece. The reason given was "a personal matter" and I don't blame him, his wife and dad are both in hospital. But maybe it's also because he and Lord Lucan are hanging out at the Bohemian Grove, plotting more dastardly conspiracies with the Servants of Cthulhu.

I will say that if the royals keep dropping like flies then at this rate you or I could be the king or queen by next weekend and in the mean time Prince William has returned to work to do not a lot, after spending several days doing nothing to take a break from doing not much.

Prince William once told his dad that if he was a commoner then he would have wanted to work as a roadie. Charles replied "One too, one too"