Mariah Carey is being sued for $20m by someone who claims she stole the song “All I want for Christmas Is You” And in similar news I’ve investigated suing her for a similar amount after having to hear the song every year since 1994

Robbie Williams has said “Fame should come with a warning” and if you ask me, it should also come with an expiration date

The racing jockey Lester Piggott passed away at the age of 86, apparently the funeral is going to be on Wednesday, at 10-1. Finance Experts are also predicting the economy is set to sore after police and the taxman take a thorough look under his floor boards.

This week saw the UK celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, meaning she’s been doing the job for 70 years. The naming system also includes gold for 50, diamond for 60 and I think for 80 years it’s a gallon of petrol. Back in the 1970s for the Silver Jubilee the queen got given an London Underground line for it, and this time around she got the “Elizabeth Line” crossrail system in London. Meanwhile my kids have to put up with asking for a brio train set from Amazon. It does make you wonder whether America would have better rail transit if they didn’t keep changing presidents ever 4-8 years.

One of the questions in the past few weeks was whether Prince Andrew would be allowed to hog the limelight and overshadow the event, but as it turns out (just days before) the announcement came out that Prince Andrew had covid, would Jubilee’v it! He’ll have to stay at home and isolate until it’s all over. Perhaps he’s telling the truth mind, teenage girls are more likely to be asymptomatic carriers. I wonder if he’ll get night sweats. And on the subject of attention seeking people, Prince Harry flew in with Meghan and new child. I’m not saying they’re in it for themselves, but I wouldn’t put it past them to use the opportunity to scam a free christening service out of the taxpayer

For what it’s worth, I amn’t too bothered by the monarchy, it’s weird and dated but so is my record collection. It’s also no worse than having a presidential election where the choice would inevitably turn out to be Tony Blair, Russel Brand or Noel Edmonds, with the BBC attacking that shameful selection of candidates, not due to it being ridiculous but due to its lack of gender or racial diversity. On the other hand if a tragedy were to befalls that somehow put Prince Harry back in contention for being on the throne, then you’ll be first to see me on the television marching alongside the likes of Jeremy Corbyn, demanding that they depose him in favour of Claire Balding as head of state. She’s even young enough that she might last enough time to get a rail