This week saw a rather strange turn of events, first there was a retrospective story talking about Martin Bashir’s subterfuge to gain an interview with Princess Diana. Prince William reacted with a professional tone of sadness and disappointment, putting out a statement. Whereas Prince Harry saw things differently and was disgusted at his own mother of all people hogging the limelight, upstaging him and Meghan’s interview, before going on camera yet again to complain about it all. The last time I saw an interview with such lack of restraint or self-control shame, it was Oliver Reed stumbling onto Michael Aspel’s show back in the day.

So talking about drunken mishaps from the 90s, that Segway's perfectly into the first of these stories, the Princess Diana one. The classic joke back in the day was that Princess Diana’s favourite drink of choice was a Harvey Wallbanger with six chasers. Anyway, the story this week was about Martin Bashir and how as a fairly junior member of staff he’d somehow landed one of the interviews of the century. It turns out that he falsified bank statements to gain trust along with a series of stories that were made up but nonetheless confirmed Diana’s growing paranoia to the extent that the state was out to get her. She trusted him and that ultimately this led her to spurn the protection services, relying on Dodi Al-Fayed’s team. Two years later she discovered that sometimes stopping a Mercedes is harder than stopping world hunger and she was all over the radio, and the dashboard and the front seats. The queen mother famously caught the bouquet at the funeral and Martin Bashir went on to continue as a successful journalistic career with the BBC backing him all the way. The BBC was still defending Bashir up until last week when he stepped down, yet this story actually came to attention last year due to a freedom of information request which the BBC lawyers tried their best to overturn. They certainly defend their own, this is the same corporation that defended Savil for years although they were pretty ok with slandering Cliff Richard, slandering James Dyson, slandering Lord McAlpine, the list goes on really, ironically they could probably commission a television series on them all.

Let’s talk about Prince Harry though because having apparently learnt nothing from his mother, he decided to go on television again for another interview, wallowing in self pity and presenting a delusional image that despite being multi-millionaires living in the height of luxury in sunny Santa Barbara, they’re actually just the same as you and me. If anything they’re worse off, we should feel sorry for them, sure they don’t have work a 10 hour shift in an Amazon warehouse or worry about if they can pay the gas bill next month, but they are a bit moody and down in the dumps and that’s much worse. There’s a general vibe that despite having a lavish wedding at Westminster Abbey paid for by the taxpayer and broadcast around the world, they didn’t get paid enough attention. Meghan seemingly feels hard done by because she didn’t constantly get treated like a queen and the things is, “no, because you’re not the queen, like The Queen, or Kate who will literally be the queen one day” Anyway, as the most senior royals living in America, they now feel they have the platform to say and do what they want, which they call “their truth” and everyone else calls “a bunch of egotistical and fanciful wokery”. I say that they’re most senior royals living in America, that is of course until Prince Andrew eventually winds up there for several years in a one bedroom flat with bars on the windows. I imagine that if he were somehow arrested and imprisoned then Harry would already be cutting a deal with Amazon Prime to go on tv and explain how Prince Andrew planned it years in advance as a calculated and deliberate ploy to hurt Meghan’s feelings and distract their social outreach work. Work like where Harry talks about how Asian people have to suffer appalling racist attacks, whilst sneakily omitting the bit about how they had to suffer attacks from his helicopter gunship in Afghanistan. One last thing before I go that nobody else seems to mention, look at Harry’s hands, they’re really really old looking.