Happy new year and here’s a thought: if “people are as honest as the day is long," then is that why there's more crime in the winter, over Christmas and New Year? And talking of criminals, Tony Blair finally got given a knighthood in the New Year’s Honor list. Reportedly it was delayed for the past 2 decades at the personal bequest of Prince Phillip who despised him although ultimately the prime minister thought that Mr Blair should be rewarded for his services to making the Labour Party unelectable as well as associating the “People’s Referendum” campaign with his special brand of toxicity+hubris.

In other news I also saw a story: “Motorcyclist killed in A1 collision” and I honestly think the Telegraph should show more respect to the grieving family and refrain from rating fatal vehicle accidents with scores like A1 as if it's Buzzfeed

But the large story from the last few weeks has probably been the Ghislane Maxwell story, she spent her 60th birthday in prison and by the looks of things she’ll probably be spending the next 60 of them in prison too. I’m joking of course, she’ll probably befall some kind of tragic yet fatal accident like tripping and catching her neck on a rope or the kitchen accidentally using cyanide rather than paprika. It is after all a Maxwell family tradition, dying in mysterious circumstances.

In a surprise turn of events however it turns out that one of the members of the jury lied on the screening questionnaire, had been a victim of abuse when they were younger and discussed this in the deliberations, thus laying the grounds for a mistrial. It also means we are unlikely to see what so many had hoped, which was her cooperating fully with the police and naming a series of high-profile names in exchange for a reduced sentence. Perhaps instead of 50 years, the judge might cheekily ask if to match her crimes she’d like her prison time to be under 18. In exchange for testifying against Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton and the like, which is what this has all been about from the start

The Ghislane Maxwell case has always been very much a warm-up show, it’s like back in the day when people went to the cinema to see a Pink Panther movie and they’d show one of the cartoons during the opening credits and that’s great. But you were really there to see Peter Sellers and some kind of farcical crime caper where Inspector Clouseau investigates whether Prince Andrew can sweat or not. As to how things are going, Andy has just had to flog a chalet in Verbier Switzerland to fund his legal team’s war-chest, although some of that money will be used to pay off Isabella de Rouvre who loaned him the money to buy the chalet and who also later sued him for £7million. Perhaps the money troubles are why he likes the weekday specials at Pizza Express although it remains to be seen whether he’s going to later be catching the Midnight Express (bit of prison humor there). Or perhaps the easiest and cheapest way to get him off the hook would be for the queen to just hand out some honors to Ghislane and some other witnesses in exchange for never mentioning Andrew’s name again. After all, “Dame Ghislane Maxwell” is no less bonkers than “Sir Tony Blair”.