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2019 Jul 13 - Sir Kim Darroch Resignation

20190713
Quite a few stories of note this week: Iran threatening to seize a British ship, the Tommy Robinson sentencing, Facebook being fined $5bn and Jeremy Corbyn's team denying accusations of antisemitism and saying the story is being concocted by a global jewish conspiracy. Plus looking at at the news there's also a new "weird health tip" that a mom in the midwest has supposedly discovered that doctors don't want you to know about. Wait no, the last of those is an advert.

Let's talk about the resignation of the UKs ambassador to America, Sir Kim Darroch. He's going to be busy looking for a job on the after dinner circuit after a news leak publicly revealed a number of less than flattering comments he'd made about the President. He's certainly not the first person to head home after a failed career in the US and it's now probably one of the few things the career diplomat has in common with Cheryl Cole. He's also one of the rare cases of being someone who's resigned from a job in Washington who wasn't previously involved in managing President Trump's finances or legal disputes.

President Trump responded to his claims of being "clumsy and inept" by going on Twitter and calling Sir Kim "a very stupid guy" although most people have missed the point when it comes to this story. The ambassador didn't resign because of his opinions, what changed was that he was left fundamentally unable to do his job, after those thoughts were made public and he was thus uninvited from the events he needed to attend in order to do his day to day job. I would say it's like a race car driver having his license taken off him for drunk driving, except those guys seem to swig back huge bottles of champagne after the race and the police never seem to breathalyse them on the way home. Another set of rules for the rich I guess...

On the other hand, perhaps Sir Kim leaked the story himself, in order to allow Theresa May to put a new ambassador in place in time to scuttle Boris' likely premiership. Let's wait and see I guess. If that's the case then I would imagine that Sir Kim might want to go down the hardware store and purchase some sandpaper, in order to familiarise himself with the map of whichever third world country Boris' new administration decides to appoint him to.
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2019 May 25 - Theresa May Resigns

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Well the European election results aren't officially out yet but someone who is out is Theresa May, or last she will be soon because for the first time ever, May won't finish on the 31st but in fact June 7th. For the past couple of months she's been like a party guest who refuses to leave - you know the sort, you talk about ordering a taxi and they take it as a signal to start a discussion about much better Uber is and propose opening up another bottle of red.

As I said, at the time of recordin ......

2019 May 18 - Huawei

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This week I thought we'd take a break from Theresa May to discuss Huawei, the Chinese company with a name that people disagree on how to pronounce. A bit like when people disagree on whether it's "envelope" of 'on' velope or how about even something as simple as the letter H. If you want to reduce the cost of healthcare, I'd ban access to anyone who pronounces it the "en haich ess"

Anyway, Huawei, not to be mistaken for Hawaii. The company is supposedly independent of the Chinese government an ......

2019 May 04 - Local Election Results

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A wipeout for Theresa May this week in a set of local election results worse somehow than the quality of the services being provided by the councils in question. I think it was best summed up by two Conservative spokesmen, one of whom said the night had "gone downhill" and the other of whom described it as an "uphill battle". That wordplay is precisely the sort of disconnect you'd expect though, the Prime Minister believing that the public are annoyed her repeated failure to get a Brexit deal wh ......

2019 Apr 27 - Nigel is back for the European Elections

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If scientists ever develop a beer that comes in capsule form, then you could say that it was a "bitter pill to swallow" Apologies, that was dreadful, but something that is going to be a bitter pill to swallow for establishment politicians is that there's some elections coming down the line. In the past you'd normally get 2 parties, both of whom were variations on the same, like having to choose between water and molten ice. However, in both Europe and the US the last year or so has seen the emer ......

2019 Apr 06 - May Asks Corbyn for Help

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I was once told by a motivational speaker to stand up for what I believe in, and I wondered, "what if it's comfy chairs?" Well this week Theresa May continued to stand for nothing and show no shame as she decided to invite Jeremy Corbyn in for talks, in a similar but different manner to that in which the Ulster police used to regularly invite in Mr Corbyn's friends in for questioning. This has of course gotten nowhere because Jeremy Corbyn is ideologically opposed to both aspects of what she's a ......

2019 Mar 30 - Theresa May fails a 3rd time

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There's that expression "third time's a chart" but it's not always true, as Theresa May found out this week after her third attempt at passing her "deal" achieved about the same level of success as someone heading into a pub claiming they can only stay for one. The Prime Minister's actually discussed having a 4th go at it and it's almost become like watching someone repeatedly failing to give up smoking or learn a foreign language. I wonder whether Theresa has a copy of the novel Finnegans Wake ......

2019 Jan 05 - Happy New Year

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Happy new year, it's 2019. I imagine that if you asked Diane Abbott what 17 plus 1 is she'd reply, 20(or)019. This is also (finally) the year that science fiction film Blade Runner is set in so while we count down to Elon Musk selling us tickets to the off-world colonies, let's maybe take a look at what the next few months have in store down here on earth,

First to America where a new house of representatives have just taken their seats and promised to pass all sorts of crazy laws for the senat ......

2018 Dec 15 - What keeps May going?

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This week Theresa May finally grasped the idea that her deal has about the same chance of being formally enshrined in law as the 5-second rule or that one about stepping on the cracks in the pavement. A few days later and she flew out to Europe once more, expecting the EU commission to ditch ideological purity in favour of pragmatism or economics. There's about as much chance of that happening as there is of seeing Jade Goody being the face on the back of the new £50 note. After 2 years Mrs May ......

2018 Dec 01 - That Brexit Bill

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This week we got to see Theresa May in action. Wait, hang on, there's no space in there, it's one word: inaction. This week we saw inaction from Theresa May, a lack of action or persuasion, the amount of productive work you'd normally more associate with a Mediterranean country on a hot afternoon. Even she knows the Brexit bill is terrible but her advisors think that promoting it alongside Jeremy Corbyn on a BBC televised debate might make it seem more palatable, like a prawn sandwich that's pas ......

2018 Nov 24 - Brexit deal "like the Titanic"

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Theresa May has a couple of different residences: sometimes she lives in Number 10 Downing Street, sometimes Chequers but for the most part she's living in fear and denial.

She's also living in cloud-cuckoo-land as she flies off this weekend to get the EU to sign off on her deal, under the misapprehension that a majority of MPs will vote for it when it comes back to Westminster. When you see the prime minister talking about how great an idea her deal is, it very much reminds of a contestant on ......

2018 Nov 17 - Theresa May Unveils her Brexit Plan

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This week Theresa May finally unveiled the details of her Brexit plan and in doing so became about as popular as Peter Sutcliffe at a WI meeting. Troops were mobilised, ministers resigned, letters were written, pieces were given to camera and if a week's a long time in politics, this upcoming week will likely feel like the DFS sale.

If you're clicking the refresh internet news website, waiting for an announcement of a leadership election, it almost feels like the old days waiting for a Ceefax p ......

2018 Oct 06 - Conservative Party Conference

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Birmingham once gave us the band The Moody Blues so is seemed appropriate that moody blue rosette wearing MPs gathered in Birmingham this past week for the Conservative Party Conference. There were fever pitch levels of excitement normally reserved in Birmingham for a nill-all draw at Villa Park. But this wasn't football, it was politics and rather than a game of two halves, this was more like 8 full pints and a bottle of whisky into the night as scheming ministers gathered to see if Boris would ......

2018 Sep 22 - Theresa May in Salzburg

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Theresa May has had a fairly bad run of luck with her Brexit plans so when I heard that she was heading out to Austria, I half expected her to land in Melbourne after a miscommunication. Nonetheless, the plane touched down and she began a quick round of negotiations that turned out to be about as productive as a Venezuelan factory.

Mrs May had gone over to Salzburg in order to push her Chequers proposal again but whilst Salzaburg was once home to Mozart, this week it was more Like that John Cag ......

2018 Jul 29 - Fires

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The news has been a bit quiet this week in the world of politics although former cricketer Imran Khan won an election and will be in charge of Pakistan if such a thing were in any way possible. But this is the age of celebrity of course where sportsmen become politicians, tv reality show host Donald Trump became the US President and the UK has a prime minister who frankly wouldn't look out of place on Countdown's Dictionary Corner, managing to somehow still misspell things and insist that her an ......

2018 Jul 14 - Will Theresa May Survive?

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Lots of Theresa May news week. I don't think there's been this much activity at Westminster since that time Cyrill Smith discovered it was possible to clear his internet search history. Over last 7 days, MPs had had a bit of time to read the details of the Brexit paper that Theresa May put out last weekend and was about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip

David Davis resigned, as did Boris Johnson along with a number of lesser known ministers and it's currently a case of seeing whether e ......

2018 Jul 08 - Theresa's Latest Brexit Plan

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If you wanted a great visual analogy for Theresa May's premiership then you could do worse than watch a news report on those kids stuck in a cave in Thailand. They're trapped, in the dark and at risk of not making it to the end of the month, and that's just the Prime Minister. Mind you, because those kids have been living under a rock for the last week so they haven't had watch the round-the-clock build-up leading to a football match. Very similar to those other football matches you get most Sat ......

2018 Jun 10 - G7 Summit

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This weekend Canada hosted the G7 conference, a political get-together with a level of expectation and excitement akin to watching the numbers on a microwave ticking down before your substandard dinner. These meetings are supposedly meant to help the worlds biggest economies sort out ideas, which is no doubt why they don't invite China or India to the big economies get-together. To add insult to injury, Germany gets invited twice, once as itself and once as its puppet the EU.

President Trump wa ......

2018 Jun 03 - World News Roundup

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This week I thought I'd do a quick roundup of some of the various news stories from around the world. Like a Chinese buffet of news, except of course with less cat meat.

In America President Trump decided to implement a series of import tariffs on steel and aluminium which may or may not be illegal although I imagine that if it does go to court then the devil will be in the detail and the lawyers will probably spent most of the time arguing about whether the metal is spelled aluminium or alumin ......

2018 May 06 - Trump Update + UK Local Elections

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The US has spent the week watching the President Trump/James Comey/Stormy Daniels stories continuing to move along with the sort of pace normally more associated with a snail, or a car in London ever since they closed half the roads for bicycle use only. I think the plan is that if Robert Mueller's evidence doesn't turn out to be conclusive enough, Trump will have already been in office for 8 years so he'll have to legally vacate the White House anyway.

So let's talk about London though. There ......

2018 Apr 15 - Syria

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One of the problems with Syria is that we can either let President Assad remain in charge or we can force him out and let ISIS fill the power vacuum. It's like in the Star Wars prequels when Liam Neeson helped destroy that droid army but then he died and Jar-Jar Binks became a senator.

Maybe we could force Assad out and have an election in Syria, and the Russians definitely won't try to rig it with the hundreds of personal they have all over the country. If you've ever been to a carnival and wa ......

2018 Mar 03 - Snow and Brexit

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It's snow joking matter, the UK's been so cold that pickpockets have been keeping their hands in their pockets and the counter-terrorism police have considered extending their remit to combat both ISIS as well as just regular Ice.

It's been a while since the UK last had a winter, nearly a year in fact and as usual their's the shots of slow moving motorways, roving reporters wandering deserted small town high streets and my favourite, the shot of hundreds of children sledging and hanging out at ......

2018 Jan 27 - Davos

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It was the Davos summit this week. That means the great and good of the world... stayed at home and watched the scumbags of the world turn up in Switzerland to talk to one another. There were the usual elected officials like Theresa May President Trump, or Emmanuel Macron. There were also lots of unelected folk there too like Jean-Claude Juncker and George Soros not to mention John McDonnell who stayed at a hotel so expensive that he made Emily Thornberry look like a Cava Socialist.

At the conf ......

2018 Jan 13 - Trump and S***hole Countries

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This week I'd initially planned to talk about Theresa May's cabinet reshuffle except that frankly the most visible change was that the various cabinet ministers changed their shirts and ties between day one and day two. The main news this week (of course) was from Washington DC where the president decided to draw attention to himself. Sure presidents love to steal the show, Bill Clinton famously carried a saxophone with him in order to outshine George Bush or Ross Perot should the situation aris ......

2017 Dec 23 - Christmas

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It's nearly Christmas so I thought this week I'd retell a classic Christmas joke. One day in the run up to Christmas, a newspaper posts a question to Downing Street asking what Theresa May has asked Father Christmas for. There's a long a protracted debate in number 10 about the ethics of the question - it can't be anything too fancy after all - and in the end Theresa May lets the journalist know that she's wanting some chocolates and a nice bottle of English sparkling wine, to sit down with whil ......

2017 Dec 16 - Brexit & Alabama

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Big political moves in Westminster and Alabama this week; two places that don’t often have much in common although if you’re a politician from the West Midlands and fancy a holiday to America, why not spend a week at the Hilton in Birmingham - Birmingham Alabama that is - and try submitting the 1st class airline ticket as an “honest mistake” ?

But first let’s discuss the Brexit vote in Westminster. Essentially the parliament will now get to vote on whether they like Theresa May’s de ......

2017 Dec 10 - Brexit + Trump Names Jerusalem Israeli Capital

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Brexit news: don't look now but apparently it's going pretty well, for now at least, supposedly. People talk about politicians being out of touch but I always think that for those ministers involved in the Brexit process, getting stuff to happen must be a good analogy for us regular folks trying to get an old car to scrape through an MOT for one last time.

This past week actually started out looking quite bleak on the Brexit front, I'm sure Theresa May was imagining the upcoming news headlines ......

2017 Nov 24 - Black Friday Brexit

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If you’ve been near the high street recently you’ll have seen all the commercial Christmas tat back up. It’s still only November but it’s returned like a bad rash, and you’ll possibly be counting down the days until you can finally open that SmartTV you bought yourself, I mean that you bought for the family. Children are maybe drafting letters to Santa this weekend but in Downing Street, Theresa May’s hoping she’s been a good girl this year as she writes down what she wants and fli ......

2017 Oct 05 - Theresa May's Speech & Catalonia

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The big story of the week was supposed to be Theresa May’s Conservative Party Conference speech which, let’s say “didn’t go according to plan” unless that plan was “let’s make a pilot for a political comedy show in the style of Frank Spencer” There was a coughing fit, a prankster, the sign behind her literally fell apart and by the end I was looking around the stage to see if anyone had put a bucket of wallpaper paste at the top of a strategically placed ladder.

On the other ha ......

2017 Sep 30 - Labour & Conservative Party Conferences

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So a few days ago saw the end of the Labour party conference and a fun time was had by all, just as long as you weren’t Laura Kuenssberg, or wanting to play ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ on the jukebox. Party conferences are always curious state managed affairs these days. Originally they were for the grass roots members and MPs to meet and discuss what direction the party should go in, in the case of the Labour party the centre ground, to the left, the far left or extreme left. But no nee ......

2017 Sep 21 - Florence and Boris

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It’s been a pretty bad week again in Central America, more tropical storms, Mexico suffering a another major earthquake and the other day I turned on the 10 o’clock news and for a while it seemed as though there were now dinosaurs on the loose in Costa Rica but then I realised the clocks don’t go back until next weekend and it was actually just the last half hour of Jurassic Park. The film holds up reasonably well actually, although if I wanted to see an older bearded man introducing dinos ......

2017 Aug 24 - GCSE Results

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In the UK, Parliament it still on recess and across the pond, it’s been nearly a week since Donald Trump sacked anyone. Indeed, the main story for quite a few days was the furore about silencing Big Ben for a few years so they can repair some of the stonework. It was getting pretty tense until the clock finally struck 11 o’clock and the pubs opened so journalists and MPs alike had someone else to go

Luckily enough for the news starved newspapers, exams results came out this week. One great ......

2017 Jul 14 - Three Types of News

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The talk of a leadership challenge against Theresa May seems to have quietened off a bit, at least for this week, as the government made another move with a big piece of Brexit legislation. In response a senior civil servant tried to get your average lager drinking, white van driving bloke on the street onside by making a Brexit analogy involving a cricket ball and went on to say that Brexit was falling apart like “a chocolate orange” which seemed odd given that if you’re already doing the ......

2017 Jun 21 - Bad Week for Theresa May

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The last week or so has shambles of bad press management from the government. Not reallya good time to be a spin doctor at Downing Street: it must feel like you’ve taken controls of a burning plane and successfully landed it on an aircraft carrier that’s just been struck by a torpedo.

The Grenfell Tower fire was a genuine tragedy but in the days since Theresa May managed to come across as detached and unemotional, she was probably depicted worse in the press than the owner of the company th ......

2017 Jun 16 - Theresa May make a deal with the DUP

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So the dust has finally settled, David Dimbleby has been put back into cryogenic stasis and so begins 5 years of fierce and intense debate inside both Westminster but also inside the polling organisations about how to be less rubbish at forecasting next time

Thesesa is still living at number 10, although a lot of people are questioning whether she's the right person for the job. I watched her on the news as she returned home from visiting the queen and as a police officer opened the door for he ......

2017 Jun 09 - Shock Election Result!

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So it's the morning after the night before and we got a shock result. Theresa May thought it would be a rubber stamping exercise, like getting your passport renewed except it was more like one of those awful bank applications where you have to supply 2 utility bills and then you're declined because due to a typo

Hats off to Jeremy Corbyn though, he didn't actually win a majority but he sure as heck managed to defeat the Blairites in the Labour party and that might mean we've finally seen the l ......

2017 May 30 - Election: 1 week to go

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If you live in the UK, then there’s just one week to go until the election. That means 7 more sleepless nights until we find out whether Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott will be in charge of the UK’s anti-terrorism policy. It’s a scary thought and in all honesty, I’d place more trust in that tiger that ate a zookeeper over the weekend in Cambridgeshire. In an odd twist of events this weekend also saw police in Florida arrested Tiger Woods for drink-driving and for a while I briefly misun ......

2017 May 19 - Election Catchup

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We’re halfway through the election campaign so I thought we’d take a look at what the various parties stand for, seeing as how we’ve not had have Ed Milliband chiseling anything onto a demented novelty gravestone this year.

The Conservatives are frankly miles in the lead following Theresa May’s media strategy of keeping Boris and all other the Gaffe prone MPs away from a microphone. She’s also promising to deliver on Brexit in order to finally put and end to Nick Clegg who increasingl ......

2017 Apr 19 - Election 2017 Announced

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So it’s 5 week to go until the next general election after Theresa May decided take everyone by surprise, very much like a school teacher posting a surprise test on the first day back. If it was a surprise maths test, it really wouldn’t be looking good for a lot of people in the Labour Party although the they do know a lot about “Division” and Dianne Abbott knows about “pi” and, oh dear, Ken Livingston just read the word “Axis” and he’s off on another rant about the war…

Bac ......

2017 Jan 28 - Brexit + Trump's Wall

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Following a High Court Ruling, Brexit was the main topic of conversation at Westminster this week and the opposition benches are in in a confused mess over the whole thing. Labour MPs have really still not come to terms with last year’s vote. Most of them still haven’t managed to wrap their heads around how the public were stupid enough to vote “Yes” – when they were asked whether Jeremy Corbyn should remain party leader. The Conservative side’s not too much better mind, although at ......

2017 Jan 08 - Brexit

20170108
Hello everyone. A long time ago I used to do a lot of cartooning but I’ve not done anything in a few years and I wanted to get back into it. Anyway, as it’s the new year I thought I’d start recording what’s going on in the world with a new cartoon each week.

It’s the end of 2016 so if you’re a celebrity it’s safe to come out from behind the sofa. Probably. In the mean time, here’s Theresa May up on a government building working on the government’s secret 6-part Brexit plan. ......