The news has been a bit quiet this week in the world of politics although former cricketer Imran Khan won an election and will be in charge of Pakistan if such a thing were in any way possible. But this is the age of celebrity of course where sportsmen become politicians, tv reality show host Donald Trump became the US President and the UK has a prime minister who frankly wouldn't look out of place on Countdown's Dictionary Corner, managing to somehow still misspell things and insist that her answer to the 8-letter conundrum is her version of "Brexit"

Anyway, let's talk about a few fires going on around the world. Alas none of them are the much-talked-about-never-delivered "Bonfire of the Quangoes"

First to Japan where it hit 106 degrees Fahrenheit (which is just over 41 degrees Celsius for those still obsessed about remaining in the customs union). Apparently 40 people have died in the sweltering temperatures. I'm going to be honest, I don't see how that's a record, I'm sure August 6 1945 was a lot hotter and there were certainly more casualties.

Next to Greece where a wildfire killed over 80 people. Authorities are still unsure the cause of the blaze with many German bankers suspecting it was an insurance job to get the money for the Greek debt. Greek fire was first mentioned by Thucydides and Boris Johnson has gotten his old job back at the Telegraph so if you're after arcane classical Greece references to Westminster than head over that way.

California also has some out of control fire too no doubt caused by a dropped cigarette butt and I'm not pointing fingers but Smokey Bear, he's called "smokey" and he lives in the woods. Also very hot though is the US economy. More than 10 years since the last recession so just make sure that if you have your money hidden away then be careful because cash is flammable, gold melts easily and computers don't do well in a fire.