The last week or so has shambles of bad press management from the government. Not reallya good time to be a spin doctor at Downing Street: it must feel like you’ve taken controls of a burning plane and successfully landed it on an aircraft carrier that’s just been struck by a torpedo.

The Grenfell Tower fire was a genuine tragedy but in the days since Theresa May managed to come across as detached and unemotional, she was probably depicted worse in the press than the owner of the company that had illegally installed the highly flammable cladding in the first place. It’s a bit like if you watched a James Bond film where Bloefeld had come across as an entrepreneur and 007 was just a jerk who shot people and forgot to pay his bar tab

Jeremy Corbyn of course doesn’t have to follow through with anything he says now that the election’s over so he’s been suggesting all sorts of policy ideas on inequality and social housing and told everyone that under his watch we’d build a gazillion new council homes all made out of gold and everyone affected by the fire would get a free unicorn. And actually now I think about it gold has quite a low melting point so maybe make the houses out of gingerbread [?] because at this point it’s all academic anyway.

Then flash forward a few days and a nutter decided to drive a van into a crowd of muslims leaving the Finsbury Park Mosque as part of some insane revenge for the London Bridge attacks a few weeks ago. One of those attackers was wearing an arsenal shirt so perhaps when the trial starts he’ll claim that he’s not a racist, just a Tottenham supporter.

For now, if you see Theresa May’s eyes turning orange, don’t worry. Just give her a tap on the shoulder, then those eyes will turn to a flashing orange, then a flashing green, then solid green, and [boom!] the government will have restarted and gone back to normal.