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2020 Feb 01 - Brexit is Done

20200201
Well Britain is finally rid of the EU and so depending what side you're on it's either time to open some sparkling wine, or start opening up those hundreds of tins of canned food that the BBC warned you'd need to stock up on. Either way it's better than the old diet where you have nothing but Brussels and keep losing pounds, billions of them. Talking about tinned goods though, it would actually be fairly ironic if the Coronavirus became a global pandemic and the stockpiling thing turned out to have been the winning move all along. Like how Mark Wahlberg was booked on the 911 flight but took a different plane in the end. And actually, I read recently that the Duchess Of York was going to be in the twin towers that day but was running late because of an interview. Weird.

Anyway back to the subject of the EU, the UK is out, even if it took so long that Geras, the Greek god of old age has passed away. Going forward though, certainly the one thing that we'll maybe see less of now is middle class people sitting around Westminster Square with EU flags painted on their face. I always found that a strange one not least because Brexit was never so much about European countries, so much as the specific bureaucratic institution. It's a bit like if those people had painted the Lewisham Council logo on their face or worn a cape embroidered with a map of Waltham Forest singing songs about local government and how nobody was able to work in a different borough until the local government reorganisation back in the 60s

But thus ends Brexit and after 3 years, which television series finale did it turn out most like? If we'd been filming it like Cheers, I guess Nigel Farage would start to walk out the door before turning around for one one last look and flicking of the light switch. In the Game Of Thrones style Brexit ending, Boris is on the Throne and everyone knows that the years long plot about Theresa May being overseas was a waste of everyone's time. The Sopranos style ending would be a good one, you'd see Question Time start up with a panel full of remainers before it cut to black and the credits rolled. As it is, there's the US and EU trade deals to negotiate so it's probably more like Breaking Bad where the ending is pretty satisfying but there's a spin off series coming, featuring some of the same characters. I hear that it features an American tv host in a lead role, let's look forward to that then I guess.
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2019 Nov 02 - Election 2019 Announced

20191102
Hello again everyone and apologies about being on hiatus the last 2 week, I was on holiday without access to a laptop, which is presumably the same sort of expression that I imagine the Americans will use to describe Julian Assange's extradition to the US ("on holiday without a laptop") before he mysteriously disappears. On the other hand, it's not as if we missed much, it was mostly another two weeks of procrastination as Westminster sat around doing nothing before I arrived home and they decid ......

2019 Oct 06 - Brexit (not a lot happening)

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A couple of weeks ago it was was commanded by the courts that parliament must return to session; it MUST sit, lest civilization collapse, like the England football team in a penalty shootout. So everyone was sent back and almost no work was done because there's frankly little that can actually be done now by MPs until the Prime Minister decides the next move. It's like the bit in a chess game where people are staring at the board while the clock counts down and half the audience are actually sta ......

2019 Sep 06 - Westminster Brexit Chaos

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The last couple of days at Westminsters have been a mess, certainly far worse than anything I've seen and I'm in the process of toilet training a 3 year old. But let's try to simplify and lay out the process of how we got here:

1) MPs don't want to want Brexit to happen, even though the public do and many of those MPs were explicitly elected promising to deliver it. As an analogy This is a like me promising to buy kitchen roll from the corner shop, then spending the money on wine and later refu ......

2019 Aug 31 - Boris Suspends Parliament

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I was once recommended that if you're buying lottery tickets then you should wear apache war paint and an American Indian head-dress because apparently "fortune favours the brave" and talking about that expression, Boris Johnson certainly upped his game this week, finally moving the Brexit saga into the end stage and putting an end to the bespoke stalemate and 3 years of can nothingness that Theresa May had so expertly crafted, in order to grind everyone down. The last couple of years have seen ......

2019 Aug 10 - Jeremy Corbyn wants The Queen to make him PM

20190810
Looking over the news this week, I wondered if the climate protesters were up to their usual tricks in London but it turned out to just be the 50th anniversary of the Beatles Abbey Road album and a bunch of idiots commemorated it by blocking the zebra crossing, which happens to be on a major road, while observing motorists sat motionless, wishing that the fans would start recreating the latter minutes of John Lennon's life.

There's also headlines about a power outage, although on further inspec ......

2019 Apr 27 - Nigel is back for the European Elections

20190427
If scientists ever develop a beer that comes in capsule form, then you could say that it was a "bitter pill to swallow" Apologies, that was dreadful, but something that is going to be a bitter pill to swallow for establishment politicians is that there's some elections coming down the line. In the past you'd normally get 2 parties, both of whom were variations on the same, like having to choose between water and molten ice. However, in both Europe and the US the last year or so has seen the emer ......

2019 Apr 06 - May Asks Corbyn for Help

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I was once told by a motivational speaker to stand up for what I believe in, and I wondered, "what if it's comfy chairs?" Well this week Theresa May continued to stand for nothing and show no shame as she decided to invite Jeremy Corbyn in for talks, in a similar but different manner to that in which the Ulster police used to regularly invite in Mr Corbyn's friends in for questioning. This has of course gotten nowhere because Jeremy Corbyn is ideologically opposed to both aspects of what she's a ......

2019 Mar 30 - Theresa May fails a 3rd time

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There's that expression "third time's a chart" but it's not always true, as Theresa May found out this week after her third attempt at passing her "deal" achieved about the same level of success as someone heading into a pub claiming they can only stay for one. The Prime Minister's actually discussed having a 4th go at it and it's almost become like watching someone repeatedly failing to give up smoking or learn a foreign language. I wonder whether Theresa has a copy of the novel Finnegans Wake ......

2019 Mar 17 - St Patrick's Day Brexit Update

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It's been an especially violent and confrontational week but luckily today is St Patricks day, when we can forget about everything as we sip on a pint of Guinness and contemplate Ireland's long and famously violence free history. Q: What do you call a bulletproof irishman? A: Rick O'Shea Anyway, for now I'll stop, or should I say "backstop" because I suppose I should get back to the Brexit news.

The week saw Theresa May return to Westminster to have a second go at passing her Brexit agreement ......

2019 Jan 27 - Mugabe & Macedonia

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With Brexit and President Trump hogging the headlines, sometimes it's easy to forget that there's a whole world of news out there and I don't mean the sports section of the newspaper, or that advertising section selling either made-to-measure chinos or perhaps premium rate phone numbers, depending on your newspaper of choice. I thought this week we'd look elsewhere and talk about 2 other things that happened in the world this week.

First of all to Zimbabwe and here's a joke for you: How does Ro ......

2018 Dec 15 - What keeps May going?

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This week Theresa May finally grasped the idea that her deal has about the same chance of being formally enshrined in law as the 5-second rule or that one about stepping on the cracks in the pavement. A few days later and she flew out to Europe once more, expecting the EU commission to ditch ideological purity in favour of pragmatism or economics. There's about as much chance of that happening as there is of seeing Jade Goody being the face on the back of the new £50 note. After 2 years Mrs May ......

2018 Dec 01 - That Brexit Bill

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This week we got to see Theresa May in action. Wait, hang on, there's no space in there, it's one word: inaction. This week we saw inaction from Theresa May, a lack of action or persuasion, the amount of productive work you'd normally more associate with a Mediterranean country on a hot afternoon. Even she knows the Brexit bill is terrible but her advisors think that promoting it alongside Jeremy Corbyn on a BBC televised debate might make it seem more palatable, like a prawn sandwich that's pas ......

2018 Nov 24 - Brexit deal "like the Titanic"

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Theresa May has a couple of different residences: sometimes she lives in Number 10 Downing Street, sometimes Chequers but for the most part she's living in fear and denial.

She's also living in cloud-cuckoo-land as she flies off this weekend to get the EU to sign off on her deal, under the misapprehension that a majority of MPs will vote for it when it comes back to Westminster. When you see the prime minister talking about how great an idea her deal is, it very much reminds of a contestant on ......

2018 Nov 17 - Theresa May Unveils her Brexit Plan

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This week Theresa May finally unveiled the details of her Brexit plan and in doing so became about as popular as Peter Sutcliffe at a WI meeting. Troops were mobilised, ministers resigned, letters were written, pieces were given to camera and if a week's a long time in politics, this upcoming week will likely feel like the DFS sale.

If you're clicking the refresh internet news website, waiting for an announcement of a leadership election, it almost feels like the old days waiting for a Ceefax p ......

2018 Sep 22 - Theresa May in Salzburg

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Theresa May has had a fairly bad run of luck with her Brexit plans so when I heard that she was heading out to Austria, I half expected her to land in Melbourne after a miscommunication. Nonetheless, the plane touched down and she began a quick round of negotiations that turned out to be about as productive as a Venezuelan factory.

Mrs May had gone over to Salzburg in order to push her Chequers proposal again but whilst Salzaburg was once home to Mozart, this week it was more Like that John Cag ......

2018 Jul 14 - Will Theresa May Survive?

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Lots of Theresa May news week. I don't think there's been this much activity at Westminster since that time Cyrill Smith discovered it was possible to clear his internet search history. Over last 7 days, MPs had had a bit of time to read the details of the Brexit paper that Theresa May put out last weekend and was about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip

David Davis resigned, as did Boris Johnson along with a number of lesser known ministers and it's currently a case of seeing whether e ......

2018 Jul 08 - Theresa's Latest Brexit Plan

20180708
If you wanted a great visual analogy for Theresa May's premiership then you could do worse than watch a news report on those kids stuck in a cave in Thailand. They're trapped, in the dark and at risk of not making it to the end of the month, and that's just the Prime Minister. Mind you, because those kids have been living under a rock for the last week so they haven't had watch the round-the-clock build-up leading to a football match. Very similar to those other football matches you get most Sat ......

2018 Mar 31 - Russia + Brexit

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It's Easter weekend so maybe you're watching this before heading out to a church service or in many cases, the pub. Just be sure to look out for Russian spies because if you see someone lying in the street in the gutter outside Wetherspoons then it could be that it's in fact a former Russian businessman or outspoken critic of Vladimir Putin. I'm sure that nerve gas is a good excuse if you return home and you're met with questions about why it took 6 hours to go to the shops and why you're now st ......

2018 Mar 03 - Snow and Brexit

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It's snow joking matter, the UK's been so cold that pickpockets have been keeping their hands in their pockets and the counter-terrorism police have considered extending their remit to combat both ISIS as well as just regular Ice.

It's been a while since the UK last had a winter, nearly a year in fact and as usual their's the shots of slow moving motorways, roving reporters wandering deserted small town high streets and my favourite, the shot of hundreds of children sledging and hanging out at ......

2018 Jan 13 - Trump and S***hole Countries

20180113
This week I'd initially planned to talk about Theresa May's cabinet reshuffle except that frankly the most visible change was that the various cabinet ministers changed their shirts and ties between day one and day two. The main news this week (of course) was from Washington DC where the president decided to draw attention to himself. Sure presidents love to steal the show, Bill Clinton famously carried a saxophone with him in order to outshine George Bush or Ross Perot should the situation aris ......

2017 Dec 16 - Brexit & Alabama

20171216
Big political moves in Westminster and Alabama this week; two places that don’t often have much in common although if you’re a politician from the West Midlands and fancy a holiday to America, why not spend a week at the Hilton in Birmingham - Birmingham Alabama that is - and try submitting the 1st class airline ticket as an “honest mistake” ?

But first let’s discuss the Brexit vote in Westminster. Essentially the parliament will now get to vote on whether they like Theresa May’s de ......

2017 Dec 10 - Brexit + Trump Names Jerusalem Israeli Capital

20171210
Brexit news: don't look now but apparently it's going pretty well, for now at least, supposedly. People talk about politicians being out of touch but I always think that for those ministers involved in the Brexit process, getting stuff to happen must be a good analogy for us regular folks trying to get an old car to scrape through an MOT for one last time.

This past week actually started out looking quite bleak on the Brexit front, I'm sure Theresa May was imagining the upcoming news headlines ......

2017 Nov 24 - Black Friday Brexit

20171124
If you’ve been near the high street recently you’ll have seen all the commercial Christmas tat back up. It’s still only November but it’s returned like a bad rash, and you’ll possibly be counting down the days until you can finally open that SmartTV you bought yourself, I mean that you bought for the family. Children are maybe drafting letters to Santa this weekend but in Downing Street, Theresa May’s hoping she’s been a good girl this year as she writes down what she wants and fli ......

2017 Oct 27 - Catalonia & JFK

20171027
Another week and it’s pretty much still the same shouting match from Spain. The central government in Madrid has said that it’s going to take back direct control over Catalonia, while the seperatists have declared that they’re going to prepare an imminent motion for independence. But nobody’s actually done anything, it’s like a nightclub bar at 9 o’clock and everyone’s waiting for someone else to go onto the dance floor first. I guess Nicola Sturgeon and Leanne Wood would be the gi ......

2017 Oct 20 - Catalonia

20171020
Catalonia was back in the news this week, the Madrid government has triggered Article 155 to remove autonomy from he region and just like when the UK triggered Article 50, the EU doesn’t like this one much either. It would be true to say that Brussels has the same regard for these articles as Polly Toynbee does for Quentin Letts’ articles. Nonetheless, the powers that be are trying their hardest to make sure if there was any chance of reconciling with the Catalan separatists then it’s up t ......

2017 Oct 13 - Brexit Bill (again)

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A lot of page filler about Brexit in the papers this week. Essentially nothing of substance has happened for a few days and there’s no proper developments as such. Yet at the same time, there’s no debacles from the White House this week and from a legal perspective, the newspaper lawyers would certainly prefer that their columnists discuss rumours about Phillip Hammond than those surrounding Harvey Weinstein’s ongoing ‘legal difficulties’

The supposed ‘Brexit Battle’ is that Phil ......

2017 Oct 05 - Theresa May's Speech & Catalonia

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The big story of the week was supposed to be Theresa May’s Conservative Party Conference speech which, let’s say “didn’t go according to plan” unless that plan was “let’s make a pilot for a political comedy show in the style of Frank Spencer” There was a coughing fit, a prankster, the sign behind her literally fell apart and by the end I was looking around the stage to see if anyone had put a bucket of wallpaper paste at the top of a strategically placed ladder.

On the other ha ......

2017 Sep 21 - Florence and Boris

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It’s been a pretty bad week again in Central America, more tropical storms, Mexico suffering a another major earthquake and the other day I turned on the 10 o’clock news and for a while it seemed as though there were now dinosaurs on the loose in Costa Rica but then I realised the clocks don’t go back until next weekend and it was actually just the last half hour of Jurassic Park. The film holds up reasonably well actually, although if I wanted to see an older bearded man introducing dinos ......

2017 Jul 28 - Banning petrol cars by 2040 plus Brexit

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One of the problems with making promises is that you tend to be held to account, so this week we saw a promise about getting rid of petrol and diesel cars by the tear 2040. That’s 23 years from now when a lot of the politicians will be retired, deceased, rotting in a club in St James’ or simply arguing about how many more leadership elections it will take to oust Jeremy Corbyn. Given how electric cars have been coming along though it’s all fairly silly really, there’s an expression that ......

2017 May 04 - Labour Spending & EU Demanding

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This week the EU claimed that if Britain wants to leave, it’ll have to pay €100bn and it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers where Dr Evil goes back to the 1960s and demands $100bn and is met by much bemused laughter. Perhaps Brussels want the cash to pay off the Greek national debt or bribe President Erdogan into staying friendly, That is if they don’t embezzle it first. If you ask me we should maybe we can try to kill two birds with one stone by seeing if we can pay any bill by g ......

2017 Apr 07 - Gibraltar and Ken Livingstone

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Last year the Remain campaign came out with some ludicrously over-exaggerated claims about what Brexit would mean: 3 million jobs lost, huge tax rises as well as the Islington branch of Waitrose having replace all the artisan Polenta dip with lard or whatever it is that Nick Clegg thinks poor people eat. However, now that Brexit is happening, they’ve decided to double down those stories and the latest claims is that a full scale military war with Spain is coming our way. I imagine that if it ......

2017 Mar 30 - Article 50 Triggered

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Article 50 has finally been triggered! It’s like the starting pistol of a race going off, if that race was about 400 miles long and nobody had gone near a gym in years and everyone was already bored hearing about it.

So what else has been happening? Well we’re a currently a few weeksinto Lent and for those who are curious, Theresa May decided to give up crisps for 6 weeks. Shortly afterwards, true story, Walkers Crisps announced that they were closing their factory in County Durham with the ......

2017 Mar 17 - Scottish IndyRef v2

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Donald Trump built an election strategy on a platform on nationalism and how the country to the south is some sort of dangerous failed state and it seems like it’s a policy idea that Nicola Sturgeon is keen to emulate. Thus we have the proposal of yet another referendum on Scottish Independence. Apparently when people say “no”, they mean “yes” although that seems like a part of the Donald Trump, Bill Clinton repertoire she might want to clarify as being strictly about politics.

Cards ......

2017 Jan 28 - Brexit + Trump's Wall

20170128
Following a High Court Ruling, Brexit was the main topic of conversation at Westminster this week and the opposition benches are in in a confused mess over the whole thing. Labour MPs have really still not come to terms with last year’s vote. Most of them still haven’t managed to wrap their heads around how the public were stupid enough to vote “Yes” – when they were asked whether Jeremy Corbyn should remain party leader. The Conservative side’s not too much better mind, although at ......

2017 Jan 08 - Brexit

20170108
Hello everyone. A long time ago I used to do a lot of cartooning but I’ve not done anything in a few years and I wanted to get back into it. Anyway, as it’s the new year I thought I’d start recording what’s going on in the world with a new cartoon each week.

It’s the end of 2016 so if you’re a celebrity it’s safe to come out from behind the sofa. Probably. In the mean time, here’s Theresa May up on a government building working on the government’s secret 6-part Brexit plan. ......