2019 Aug 31 - Boris Suspends Parliament

I was once recommended that if you're buying lottery tickets then you should wear apache war paint and an American Indian head-dress because apparently "fortune favours the brave" and talking about that expression, Boris Johnson certainly upped his game this week, finally moving the Brexit saga into the end stage and putting an end to the bespoke stalemate and 3 years of can nothingness that Theresa May had so expertly crafted, in order to grind everyone down. The last couple of years have seen so much can kicking, it was starting to resemble one of those old black and white videos of children playing football. But now May has gone, Theresa May has gone, summer has nearly gone and it's time to take a stab at goal.

Anyway, there's a couple things in life that can be relied upon, like for instance the more out of shape someone is the more liable they are to refer to their favourite football team as “we” and this week was no exception with an especially partisan response from the media. The PM decided to have the usual September break for the party conference season, but he also added on an extra 4 days which was portrayed by many as something akin to a violent coup in sub-saharan Africa. References were also made to Caesar and Napoleon, carefully leaving out the bit where those leaders were wildly popular at the time. It's a strange world the Remainers live in, no doubt they sit round dinner tables discussing how ghastly The Beatles were because of how they smoked, and perhaps (unlike the rest of us) they all thought that Game of Thrones ended brilliantly, if only because the chap sat on the throne at the end of it was disabled.

Really, though, those four days at the end of the standard time off are what the outcry has been about, 4 days when at the same time the complaining MPs could have easily called for an early end to their summer holidays but hey, there's a lot of good shows on Netflix to catch up with. I suppose that in the mean time, life goes on and November draws ever closer. However, two people will benefit immensely from all of this [1] frivolous lawsuit filing Gina Miller who'll be making plenty in tv appearance fees when she's not suing people; seems like she'd really be a lot happier in life if she moved to the US and filed vast predatory lawsuits there, for things like... I don't know... a footlong sandwich only being 11 inches long. Someone else: [2] Shane McGowan from the band The Pogues who will undoubtedly be racking in a few extra royalties after people go online and misspell the word prorogue. Maybe he can use the money to buy a new hedgerow to drag himself through.
Share >>>