2018 Oct 06 - Conservative Party Conference

Birmingham once gave us the band The Moody Blues so is seemed appropriate that moody blue rosette wearing MPs gathered in Birmingham this past week for the Conservative Party Conference. There were fever pitch levels of excitement normally reserved in Birmingham for a nill-all draw at Villa Park. But this wasn't football, it was politics and rather than a game of two halves, this was more like 8 full pints and a bottle of whisky into the night as scheming ministers gathered to see if Boris would come out it as a leadership candidate or not.

True to form, Boris made a remarkable speech, the sort of one that would of course sound mad and pretentious if anyone else else reads it, the lexical equivalent of a 3 piece suit. If some people think the Conservative Party is stuck in a 1950s time-warp though then they were in for a surprise as Theresa May came out to give her speech to the hip happening modern disco sounds of ABBA, just like what the youth probably listen to when they're lurking outside off-licenses or perhaps in those underpasses, the sort of places that Richard Littlejohn warns you about.

Anyway, what did the critics have to say about Theresa May's speech? Well it was described by commentators as "about an hour long" and asides from some sharp critiques of "The Jeremy Corbyn Party" was the same sort of generic thing you'd expect a committee of dreary staffers. Two or three bright young things, who all graduated from Oxford with a first in English Literature from but who now spend their days correcting apostrophes and writing press releases for inane government plans too insignificant for Labour to even bother objecting to

At this stage it doesn't matter though because Brexit is 5 months away, Boris doesn't have the necessary votes to call for a leadership election and the EU has also started to realise that Theresa is so utterly shambolic at selling their bait-and-switch Brexit deal that there's a real reason that Britain could simply drop out, with no deal but also with £40bn pounds of divorce payments that Brussels was hoping on getting.

Theresa walked, danced, shuffled out to Dancing Queen but in all honesty the ABBA track played should have been "Our Last Summer" because she certainly won't be in Number 10 for the next one.
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