Manchester United's youngest ever player, David Gaskell, died at the age of 84. Certainly if their youngest player was 84 then it explains why they've been playing so badly this week

Prince Harry was in the money after his latest grift netted him £10m off newspaper The Sun and honestly at this stage I wish someone would commission a tv show based on him, where a former royal plays the role of Del Trotter or Arthur Daley, always on the make and up to something. But anyway, £10m That should keep Meghan going for a couple weeks I guess.

And Donald Trump got stuck into his first week at work, highlights of which included renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, deporting hundreds of illegal migrants, and announcing plans to fully declassify the files on various things like the Kennedy Assassination. There's a video clip of him where George W Bush is seen smiling, presumably because Trump might have mentioned JFK, UFOs and the Epstein Island in the past but he never once talked about the 9-11 papers that are presumably locked up for decades to come. Personally The secret I'd like to know is how Trump remains alive and seemingly in good form. He sleeps for only 4-5 hours per night, he has the most stressful job on the planet, gets shot at by assassins, drinks 10+ Diet Cokes per day and has a well know inclination for fast food and not exercising.

His friend Elon Musk has posted in the past about having steak and eggs for breakfast and not sleeping although this week he was also in the news after supposedly making a nazi salute which looked more like punching the air if you ask me. Either way it was the likes of CNN reporting on it so who cares although now I think about it, in the 1960s the US needed actual Nazis to win the race to the moon, so why would we expect getting to Mars to be different? Perhaps next year he'll release the Tesla Model SS and people can talk about how he went from being the Henry Ford of our generation to becoming the Henry Ford of our generation.

In other fake news though, Kamala Harris has decided to now blame her election defeat on her husband, absolving personal responsibility being of course the classic playbook for democrats. It's amusing is that her complete inability to accept responsibility or accountability was one of the defining reasons she lost, along with being a terrible candidate who was anointed by the party leaders rather than than the electorate. Albeit at least they'll keep losing as long as they avoid open primaries and keep putting up terrible candidates. Anyway, at this point I'll stop banging that dead horse, although a neighbour asked if I knew what was worse than banging a dead horse, and apparently the answer is shooting a live cat. Anyway, I need to go now and put up some signs outside, I've not seen Mr Tiddles since Thursday.