2024 May 04 - Humza Yousaf Resigns

Humza Yousaf finally did everyone a favour and decided to resign as Scottish First Minister and two notable things stand out: 1) His long list of achievements is actually just a single item of "not being arrested like the last one" and 2) The only people lamenting him stepping down are those on the unionist side of the aisle who will be forever grateful for him personally killing the independence movement for a generation or two. I'm not sure what he's planning to do next although his brother is currently facing charges of drug dealing so there's probably job going spare in the gang there if he wants to switch careers. It would be interesting to see him somehow take a profitable drug dealing empire and incompetently run it into the ground with mounting financial losses.

The question of what he'll do next is a legitimately interesting one. Most failed politicians are at least liked by some portion of the electorate and have enough contacts and career experience to pursue something in the private sector, yet he has none of that. He's too young to be offered a seat on a board of directors and no serious business would want to be associated with him anyway. Nor does he have any long term clout or reputation to cash in: say what you will about Nicola Sturgeon, if she avoids prison she will very quickly pick up some kind of (quite well paying) academic position overseas talking about her 20 or so year's experience at the top of the tree. Even Gordon Brown for all his faults was still respected enough to front charity work and talk about his 10 years as chancellor. Things don't look rosy for Humza and his chances of getting a decent job are certainly not helped by the Scottish job market imploding due to his own policies of raising taxes and forcing businesses to move south of the border.

It's at this point I should probably add a personal note which is that I went to the same school as him and from what I can tell from wikipedia, I must have been in the year above him, and yet I never heard of him until 2 or 3 years ago, I don't remember him from prizegivings or chess club or the like. He seems like the sort of middling person who simply got ok-ish grades and whilst others went on to pursue high flying careers, he spotted that a lot of nationalist politicians were quite keen to insist that they weren't in racist, despite it fact being a key component of the the SNP's manifesto. It's the equivalent of a bloke in the pub saying one of his *best friends* is an ethnic minority so he can't possibly be a bigot, despite being actively lifted out of said pub by the police for shouting racial obscenities. That bloke may well even have been Alex Salmond, he's done far crazier things on his drunken adventures, as anyone who's seen him stumbling around on an East Coast train will testify; although I guess Banffshire to London is a 10 hour train ride and the drinks trolley is on expenses. Anyway, needless to say Humza leaves with a depressingly large pension that few of us will ever get, although he can't claim it for decades and will presumably have to do something to make ends meet. Perhaps he could become a social media star and start a YouTube or TikTok channel. Maybe do one of those unboxing videos, where he empties a ballot box and realises that the contents are all the votes are for the Labour party candidate and not him.
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