It's back to school, I'm back from holiday and it seems that even the school supplies shopping couldn't stop Wilko from going bust - they had with a balance sheet weaker than a LibDem handshake

The Edinburgh festival had some controversy this year but it also had some great jokes, like the one where Nicola Sturgeon talked about her new book and how her choosing to resign had nothing to be with her being arrested.

Vladimir Putin sacked one of his senior army officials and then a few days later Yevgeny Prigozhin died in a tragic air accident. Or you could also say that Vladimir fired one and flambéed the other.

There was the conclusion of Lucy Letby's ghastly court case and my conclusion was that the woman should have been strangled at birth. A friend told me a joke where Lucy gets cast into a desolate pit, filled with crying screaming people and a demon tells her "welcome to hell" and she replies, "thank goodness, I thought I'd been reinstated in an NHS hospital"

There was the Womens' World Cup, where they girls failed to win, proving conclusively that they're just as bad as the mens' team. Personally, I didn't actually realise the game was happening, in part because I'm Scottish but mostly because I don't watch the BBC

Mohamed Al-Fayed died, almost 26 years to the day after Princess Diana, Diana's name was famously an acronym for Died In A Nasty Accident, she'll be forever in our hears, windscreens and french roads

Michael Parkinson also died, although at least his family can now claim that over-50s life cover he spent the last couple decades banging on about. I'd quite like to imagine the scene where he goes through the pearly gates, meets up with Rod Hull and swings a punchy now that it's just the 2 of them.

A child at my kid's school self-identifies as a donkey, their initials are He and Haw