2023 Apr 09 - Peter Murrell Arrested

The band S-Club 7 are going to be named S-Club 6 after the death of band-member. As a double whammy for fans, the ticket prices for the upcoming reunion are going to have to go up due to it being 14% less rubbish.

Garry Lineker is saying that Alan Hansen left Match of the Day because of the nerves. Yeah Garry, you getting on them

But let's talk about the main story this week. Older viewers might remember that episode of Porridge where Fletcher writes a cleverly worded letter to his missus, and the police end up wasting their time digging the garden up for nothing. Well it seems that Ronnie Barker must have been married to Nicola Sturgeon because this week showed the police show up at the Casa Del Sturgeon to arrest her husband Peter Murrell. Peter was the SNP’s chief executive and is alleged to have misappropriated or lost half a million pounds that had been set aside for a future referendum. The implication is either that he pocketed it, or that it got spent without him noticing how or when. If it's the latter then that just means that he's utterly incompetent at his job and given the SNPs track record at this sort of thing, I think we now all know what happened. If he has half a million quid in his bank account then I'm a vegan.

The main reaction to the arrest has been the demand that the SNPs leadership election should be rerun now that people know that a Humza Yousaf claim to be a continuity Sturgeon candidate might not be a good thing after all. Plus that election was that classic result 52-48% and that means they need to rerun the election indefinitely. People should be careful asking for change though, I recently asked Alexa to change the TV and 2 hours later a delivery driver showed up to swap it for a 60" OLED display. There's also the angle that if Humza temporarily steps down then all the backbenchers get to roll the dice again at getting themselves a cushy cabinet job although there are other job openings out there this week. I have a friend who's a careers advisor and a kid recently came in and said he wants a temporary position where he gets paid a ton of money for achieving nothing. His interview as interim manager of Chelsea is this coming Wednesday.
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