2022 Aug 29 - News Roundup

I’ve been away on holiday the past couple weeks so what did we missed?

- There’s a cost of living crisis is all over the news with many commentators saying that this winter will see people choose between eating or heating although I guess it means we’re either going to solve the obesity crisis or the pensions crisis. Next on the addenda is supposedly a 3 day week and talk about it being like the 1970s which is frankly a load of cobblers because at least there was decent music back then and Channel 5 hadn’t been invented
- There’s a water shortage so it must be a worrying time if you’re an East End gangster who dumped a body in a reservoir. I guess they could try to recover the body first but just to rub salt into the wound, a tank of petrol to visit the reservoir at midnight probably costs a pony or a dragon or however that system works. It always surprised me Brussels never tried to enforce the metric system on cockneys, like £20 was a Alsatian £100 was a Poodle
- Elsewhere in Europe things are just as bad: Spain is apparently facing an ice cube shortage. Why, did they forget the recipe?
- There’s a series of rail strikes ongoing although if you think things are bad in Britain, you should take a look at Ukraine and see the damage that a Russian train strike looks like.
- The conservative leadership is still going on, I think the last I read Liz Truss is expected to win by a landslide because Rishi Sunak’s main promises are to try to stop the inflation caused by Rishi Sunak and lower the taxes that were raised by Rishi Sunak.
- Talking about conservative leaders, there’s rumours that Boris Johnson might pay a surprise visit to the UK next week
- Salman Rushdie was stabbed at a speaking event in New York, due to the Satanic Verses novel he wrote more than 34 years ago. Talk about getting it in the neck.
- I hear that Norway has painted barcodes onto all their war ships, so that when they return to port they can Scandinavian
- Cineworld is preparing to go bankrupt, although to be fair I was thinking about doing the same thing after I bought recently 2 tickets and a large popcorn there.
- The producers of The Crown are apparently looking to cast the next series and of course this is Netflix and so producers are keen to see Prince William played by either Wesley Snipes, Idris Elba or possibly Danny Glover
- Swimmer Tom Daley said that homopobia in the third world is a direct result of the British Empire. Which is surprising, I never knew that we ever owned places like Mauritania or Uzbekistan. I’m sure if he pays a trip to famously woke Saudi Arabia they’ll happily let him dive into a swimming pool, albeit only an empty one. I once saw an Amnesty International advert with a black & white photograph of two criminals playing chess between jail cells although it failed to mention how the choice of games is quite limited, it’s not like you can play rock paper scissors, when all any of the shoplifters can play is rock. It’s a brutally rigged justice system that is somehow less fair than that premium rate voting system ITV tried a few years go
- And I saw an interview where Lady Gaga claims she wore a bullet proof vest when she sang at Joe Biden’s inauguration. I’m guessing that was in case there were any music lovers in the audience
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