2022 Apr 17 - News Roundup

Lots of stories in the news this week

- Joe Biden has promised a billion dollars worth of high-tech military equipment to the Ukrainian army, with the one stipulation that they have to collect it from Afghanistan.
- Boris Johnson announced that asylum seekers are going to be processed in an overseas centre hosted by the Rwandan government. Which is you’re an economic migrant travelling from Morocco or Libya essentially means that the prime minister has achieved the Guinness record for the world’s largest game of Snakes and Ladders. The key point in this story is that it is not aimed at all migrants, it’s literally just for those travelling to the UK “unlawfully” - in other words the ones using a raft to travel to Kent from the implied humanitarian disaster or genocide unfolding in suburban France.
- Although talking of which, there was a wave of violence in France after the first round of the election meant that next weekend the run off vote will be between Macron and Marne Le Pen. It’s a very modern attitude, young people don’t get their own way by shouting enough so they go and smash the place up like a petulant child. One Mélenchon supporter said of the upcoming vote, “it's like choosing between the plague or cholera” Or as a tourist would say like choosing between walking up the stairs at the Eiffel Tower or paying $20 euros to take the lift, all whilst shady characters try to pick-pocket you and sell you rubbish. And that’s just the local French politicians.
- Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak are still holding out, despite being fined over the Partygate fiasco. Lack of morals aside, their lies and excuses are frankly ridiculous, it’s as if Fred West had tried to play innocent by claiming he'd purchased his garden's topsoil from a shop in Lockerbie. The two of them should be gone but they’re still probably the best 2 people to have that job, despite the lockdown boozing and people could probably name more of ‘colours of wine’ then ‘members of the shadow cabinet’
- One of the Russian flagships the armed-to-the-teeth Moskava has been sunk in the Black Sea. The Ukrainians have boasted about how their torpedo attack, although the Russians blame an on-board fire that hit a munitions cache. Either way the Ukrainian leadership have said it strikes a hit at the very heart of the Kremlin which makes them look pretty silly given that the Kremlin is actually a thousand miles away in Moscow, not a boat, and what a silly waste of an expensive anti-ship missile on a ship that was already sinking, what were they thinking?
- There’s a story about a GP who abused 48 patients over 35 years old. Which is a ghastly story although at least it makes a change from the ones where the women are under 35.
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