There’s that old saying in show business: never work with children or animals, especially if it’s pornography. Kevin Spacey though - he’s one of those “do as I say, not as I do” kind of celebrities though. In the 1995 film The Usual Suspects, he played a ruthless criminal who brutally murdered people and did a lot of bad stuff but even Keyser Soze had lines he didn’t think appropriate to cross. Now the latest series of House Of Cards is on hiatus because HBO would rather keep the show about “locker-room banter” and corruption - like in the real Washington DC.

At Westminster though, it’s been an accusationary free-for-all. Kelvin Hopkins has been suspended, Charlie Elphicke has been suspended, there are calls for Stephen Crabb to be suspended, Clive Lewis has been accused of groping and there’s even a Labour Party proposal to forbid their MPs from using the Sports & Social bar because that’s generally where young and irresistibly attractive members of staff hang out. What next? A banning people aged 19 to 22 from going near the 1922 committee? Things got real for the Conservative party when Sir Michael Fallon resigned. Allegedly a few years ago Andrea Leadsom said that she had cold hands and he said “I know where you can put them to warm them up!” I wonder if Michael Gove or someone else in the cabinet had a Swanee Whistle on hand to add a sound effect to that gag. If I saw it told on TV I’d expect Benny Hill to be delivering it, before of course quickly slapping someone bald, presumably Iain Duncan Smith, on the head and running into the chamber followed by a half dozen scantily clad nurses as the credits rolled to Yakety Sax.

Alas, it’s not television, although events did take a surreal turn when Harriet Harman of all people decided to go on tv and tell a racist joke to Andrew Neil, as you do. See you next week when frankly anything could have happened and be sure of course to look out for the newspapers this Sunday, followed presumably by Resignations on Monday.