What a depressing week: an utter tosspot killed some folk in London, not normally news but it happened right outside parliament so it’ll be generating column inches for years to come. Just look at Guy Fawkes, he didn’t even succeed with his plot and the papers still mention him every year. As for the Westminster Bridge attack, it was actually a year to the day since the Brussels bombings where 32 people died, and it was lucky for many I suppose then that in comparison the British attempt was quaintly rubbish

On the other side of the spectrum, this week also saw the death of Irish terrorist mastermind and general human vermin Martin McGuinness. I’ve never visited Northern Ireland but I did live for many years in Glasgow which I suppose was like a sectarian version of visiting Euro Disney rather than travelling to Florida. Anyway, he’s in the ground now although the Queen was unable to attend the funeral, owing to being unable to find her dancing shoes.

A lot of folk now consider The Troubles to be something from a bygone era or something that happened far away across the Irish Sea. I’d suggest going on Google and look up images of the Bishopsgate Bomb that London experienced back in the 90s and people forget that the Gherkin skyscraper was only built because Martin McGuinness and his pals used a van filled with Semtex to destroy the old Baltic Exchange.

But fair enough, things have changed, let’s move on and think about the positives of Northern Ireland. It’s now a beautiful and peaceful place with good people, they gave us Bushmills and the DeLorean motor company and nowadays the only shooting is when they’re shooting Game Of Thrones.