2020 Jul 04 - Ghislaine Maxwell Arrested

Ok, this week it's a bit of an unfunny subject so let's start with a crime-related joke: A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors. But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect. Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.

But back to the topic at hand, Ghislaine Maxwell was arrested this week in America after an international hunt ended with the FBI showing up a a mansion in New Hampshire. She didn't own a Ford Bronco so they quickly took her to jail where she'll probably have lots to talk about with a lawyer. Ghislaine is supposedly an eye-witness to lots of crimes involving formally alive and mysteriously now dead Jeffrey Epstein and a lot of his former associates from the Clintons to Prince Andrew to Elon Musk are probably sweating now. Apart of course from Prince Andrew who is famously unable to sweat. Except of course when he's being photographed doing so.

Ghislaine has been described in the news as Epsteins former girlfriend but unlike many of his girlfriends, she's an adult and be facing some serious criminal charges relating to human trafficking and so many are suggesting that she'll cut a deal and offer up information on everything that went on. I once heard someone say that they didn't trust stairs because they were always up to something, but in this case there's an cadre of rich and powerful people likely up to something, ready to prevent any stories being revealed and that of course is why everyone is wondering how long it will be until a tragic accident occurs. Possibly in the same prison as her friend Jeffrey was staying. my betting is that the Coronavirus will be responsible this time and that a high profile court case will be yet another big event missing from our tv screens this year. Certainly the prospect of Prince Andrew being called to give evidence at a trial must make him rather glad that she wasn't arrested when she was at her other house in France, because the British Royals seem to have bad luck when they visit that country, and having watched that interview, Prince Andrew is certainly no stranger to car crashes.

But of course this is all speculation & rumour for now. Without answers or evidence it's as much use as asking what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag. Personally I'm happy to wait until the judge or the coroner make their mind up and come back with something conclusive and in the meantime if you're that interested in gossip, go online and look up the lives of Robert Maxwell's other children because they give soap operas a run for their money. I guess that Ghislane therefore had more in common with Prince Andrew and his family than you'd think.
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2020 Jun 27 - Wokeness in America

It seems like things may be getting back to normal, the biggest story seems to be the incident in Glasgow and a stabbing in Glasgow somehow makes front page news then maybe I've lost touch with the modern world. There was also another terrorism-related story in which Leeds United had to remove a photograph of Osama Bin Laden that had been spotted in their Elland Road stadium. Quite right too: everyone knows he supported Bradford, or was it Rotherham?

Nonetheless, In America things are still goi ......

2020 Jun 22 - General News Roundup

This week it seems that the main story from last week, namely the culture war has continued to crash and dwindle into left-wing obscurity in a way reminiscent of Channel 4 News or a semi-finalist on the X-Factor. I always used to get confused on those talent shows when someone said their goal was to have a platinum album, I mean I have dozens of those downstairs, by the Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin. I know that High Street record stores are in a bad state of repair but is it that hard to fi ......

2020 Jun 13 - Mob Rule & Chaos on the Streets

In the space of a week and a half the reasonable protests of a man’s death have escalated rather quickly from a movement arguing simply for justice. Instead we’ve seen a series of marches, riots and angry demands extending from everything such as police reform to more fringe ideas like banning the tv show Thomas The Tank Engine and demanding that Scotland remove statues of Wallace The Bruce, on the spurious grounds that he was racist for not employing Africa-Americans in 13th century Scotlan ......

2020 Jun 06 - Coronavirus Summer

It's now June, normally a month when you might be out enjoying a drink in the sun and watching the cricket, but thanks to the Corovirus, the only kind of bat you're going to be seeing is one of the ones for sale that that Chinese wet-market. Did I say cricket? Because I'm fairly certain you can buy them there too along with locusts, grasshoppers and pangolins which I've never had, though supposedly they taste a bit like pork or duck. I must say that I didn't fight my way to the top of the food c ......

2020 May 30 - Minneapolis Police Shooting

It would be great to not talk about Coronavirus for a week, so let’s flip to the front page of the news and… Oh dear, it’s a racial killing in America and a city is tearing itself apart, in a show of emotion that’s you probably wouldn’t see in Britain unless the NHS was sold to Phillip Green or the Royal Mail released a special set of limited edition stamps featuring the life and times of Oswald Mosley

Nonetheless, what happened in the US was fairly abhorrent. An African American na ......

2020 May 23 - Coronavirus & The Economy

I'm publishing this on May 23rd which is George Osbourne's birthday, which now means we've had more months of Coronavirus than he has jobs. It's hard to tell really because with social distancing in play, he's maybe had to add 'clean ing the house' to his CV, or perhaps he prefers to live in filth; a lot of anonymous people online say he's into filth. I've never met the man though from what I read he seems like the sort of chap that probably closes the laptop at around 8 o'clock so he can listen ......

2020 May 16 - Coronavirus Thoughts

Once again there's not really a huge amount of news to talk about this week but I guess that the purpose of these is to write down some thoughts that make people laugh, very much like the LibDem manifesto. So I'll try my best.

One of the stories this week that caught my eye has been talk of if and when a vaccine may be developed. Great news except for the small detail that the doctors are keen to test the vaccine on monkeys first before giving the vaccine to humans. The reason this causes me to ......

2020 May 10 - Coronavirus & VE Day

This week was yet another one where Coronavirus was dominating the news. By the time things finally return to normal, the Chelsea Pensioners will consist largely of their team from last season. And it's been so long since I went to the gym that I should start calling it James.

But here we are and this week saw the nation stop to commemorate VE day and the end of the second world war in Europe. Prince Charles led a 2 minute silence while Prince Andrew also joined in with his two minutes of right ......

2020 May 03 - Coronavirus Month 4

Here’s a remarkable thought, four years ago if the Brexit referendum had gone the other way then this would be the final week of David Cameron’s second 5-year term as prime minister and the UK would be about to undertake a 2020 election assuming Coronavirus didn't mean it got delayed along with football season, olympics and my eventual plan to one day tidy the cupboard under the stairs. As it is, we’ve had multiple elections 2 prime ministers and the Covid thing which has probably made Dav ......

2020 Apr 26 - Kim Jong Un Dead?

One of the more interesting stories to appear this week as been the news that the North Korean leader has died at the age of 36, a remarkable young age really though very much in line with North Korean life expectancy. It’s actually a rather strange story as it has been commonly reported except for the main tv networks which are waiting for the press release to drop before they decide to run the tape and finally get on with the macabre discussion of who will be taking on the new role as leader ......

2020 Apr 19 - Coronavirus Again

Another week and another lack of things to talk about, most of the headlines right now are about how the US or Denmark or some other country is thinking about re-starting their economy, and listening to the vague plans being thrown around is a bit like someone discussing their vaguely plans to restart a fitness regime they abandoned back in February. Obviously it's for the best but it's also a bit tricky, maybe give it another month. Chancellor Rishi Sunak's stories and plans about restarting th ......

2020 Apr 12 - Boris Goes to Hospital

Doesn't 2019 seem such a long time ago? In Britain people were talking about leaving the EU whereas nowadays people are more interested in talking about when they're going to get to leave the house. This week, yet more of the same, depressing fatality numbers while we all sit eating through the cupboards and freezer. Earlier this week the wife asked me if I wanted canapés for dinner and I thought "yum yum there must be some in the freezer to heat up in the oven" but it turned out that in fact s ......

2020 Apr 05 - Coronavirus News

I'm sat here, stuck in my house once more still armed with more pasta than you can shake a stick at, or at least a stick of spaghetti at. Luckily I'm doing pretty well, which I guess makes the opposite of most people's stock portfolio. But yes, welcome to April, named after the latin word "apero" meaning “second" so in this the 2nd month of the Coronavirus Crisis, what has been happening around the world?

In America president Trump's been making a couple speeches though the main news has been ......

2020 Mar 28 - Boris & Coronavirus

It's not often you hear the left wing news media saying something positive about the Prime Minister but this week they were simply reporting that Boris had tested positive for Coronavirus and will therefore be working from home which is pretty convenient as his office, the cabinet room, is just down the hall from his bedroom anyway. You have to admire the irony of Boris having not apparently used enough Johnsons baby wipes to clean his hands, although it does show the dangers of saying things li ......

2020 Mar 20 - Coronavirus Update

Another week and another ratcheting up in seriousness for the Coronavirus. For me personally I was affected when my car engine light came on despite it just being serviced but it turned out that it was just the car owner virus

What's been going on around the world then? In the UK London is being put on lockdown with the Queen making a dash for Windsor Castle before the curfew came into affect. Alas most people are not able to relocate from their 1 bedroom flat to a massive mansion in the countr ......

2020 Mar 13 - Coronavirus Gets Serious

If you've been listening to a lot of Dean Martin or Tony Bennett then perhaps you're suffering from Crooner virus but for the rest of the world the Corona Virus decided to level up and let everyone know it means business. And business has indeed been hit hard as the markets collapsing faster than Diane Abbott if she tried running a marathon. The stock market saw 10% day over day drops as politicians urged calm although panic buying's probably the only reliable revenue stream right now for a lot ......

2020 Mar 07 - Coronavirus & Biden/Bernie

Two stories to cover this week, first an update on Coronavirus, or "Covid19" as it's officially called. Don't worry if you missed the first 18th episodes though, they're probably on Netflix. Right now though things are continuing to ratchet up in terms of seriousness and do remember that when you read the official government numbers, you should double them, just as you would if you were quoted the cost of a large government project, or the number of times Prince Andrew claims to have met someone ......

2020 Feb 29 - Coronavirus

There's been quite a few stories about death in the news this week, first I read that the world's oldest man had died and I thought, "poor bloke, that must be the 3rd or 4th time that's happened to him in the last couple of years"

But the big story this week was the continuing escalation of the Coronavirus as it became the most viral thing to come out of Asia since that Gangnam Style youtube video a couple of years ago. The World Health Organisation upgraded the risk to "very high" and the numb ......

2020 Feb 22 - Democratic Primary

This weekend in America it's the next round of the Democratic selection process and at the time of recording, I can't tell who's going to win because predicting the future is not a superpower that I possess. And if I could have any superpower? That would probably be the Roman Empire in the 2rd century. Let's take a quick look at the 5 main candidates though

1) Joe Biden - He's the candidate that the establishment are hoping gets the nomination. He's Obama's old VP, has decades of experience, he ......