2020 Nov 29 - Maradona & Iran

There were a couple non-Covid deaths this past week, notable the Argentine footballer Maradona who finally kicked/punched the bucket at the age of 60. In England the passing was celebrated by many, although he was of course deeply mourned in both Argentina and Scotland. I'm guessing that as a mark of respect there was maybe talk about removing all the white lines from the side of the pitch seeing as how Maradonna largely died at 60 because he cut more lines than an Audi driver in a hurry.

Elsewhere the Iranian nuclear scientist Mohsen Fakhrizadeh (fra-keeza-day) was gunned down in his car, raising many questions in the media like "how do you pronounce his name" because it's spelled like something Network Rail would hang outside a train station in Wales. Nonetheless the Iranian regime has been pretty quick to blame Israel for a number of reasons [1] President Trump didn't tweet responsibility [2] Mohsen wasn't a Russian disident [3] an Israeli cabinet minister said he had "no clue" whilst presumably smirking behind a facemark, perhaps secretly sticking his tongue out. Or maybe it was on a zoom call and he was holding some very crossed fingers just out of camera shot. It's an odd time we live in I guess, who'd have thought a year ago that within 12 months you could potentially be arrested for walking into a bank and NOT wearing a mask?

What else? Apparently the UK and France have reached an agreement to tackle migrants crossing the English Channel with "special equipment". Presumably boats? Maybe boats armed with a gun or two? Talk about the obvious though, it's like that Jailbreak song by Thin Lizzy where there's a lyrics "Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak Somewhere in this town" and you think "presumably at the prison?" Oh well, the navy and armed forces are secretive enough at the best of times I imagine; I remember once asking a friend who's an officer what the lowest rank in the army was. He said, "It's Private." I said, "Come on, you can tell me, I've known you 20 years."
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2020 Nov 22 - Covid Update

I’m back this week after a last minute arranged little holiday before yet more lockdowns, so I guess in some respects I was learning from Rishi Sunak’s example of running up the credit card. Or possibly Kier Starmer’s example of spending a week not really doing any work. Or Boris’ for that matter. He’s supposedly on a new exercise regime following his Covid scare but given his work ethic I wonder if it mostly involves doing diddly-squats.

Mind you, of all the potential holidays going ......

2020 Nov 09 - US Election Aftermath

The aftermath of the US election has been a sordid mess and one in which the media’s analysis has been about as neutral as a listening to Jimmy Hill commentate on an England game against Germany. Except of course these day’s its former crisp salesman turned football pundit Garry Lineker offering insight on twitter. And just like Jimmy Hill, like many of the people who voted for Joe Biden died several years ago.

At time of recording Mr Biden has been announced as the winner although there ar ......

2020 Oct 31 - France, Labour & Election 2020

Couple of big stories this week. First there was yet another terrorist attack in France, and after the terrorist tried to buy C4 explosives and accidentally ordered a Citroen C4, this one involved a knife instead and a beheading. I have to give credit to the French police who kept their calm whilst many others were losing their head. President Macron was already about to start a lockdown for Coronavirus so let's see if whether lockdown curfew prevents Tunisian migrants as effectively as it does ......

2020 Oct 26 - General News Update

Let’s look at 4 new stories and show them the same level of respect that Jeff Bezos has for workers rights or the tax authorities

First of all to Spain where they’ve issued a new curfew to prevent the spread of Coronavirus. The government said that they didn’t want anyone to catch it, although they might have said that they didn’t want any Juan to catch it. I think I remember a story that the King of Spain has sequestered himself on his private jet until his Covid-19 results come back, ......

2020 Oct 19 - French Terror & Biden Corruption

I realised it's now the middle of October so I have to ask, how is everyone enjoying their 6 month free trial to the new world order? On the Corona front there's a new 3 tiers system and the whole thing is about as made up and opaque as the 33 tiers of freemasonry. I wonder how that's going these days? Presumably less handshaking thanks to Covid. And none of those weird midnight ceremonies, what with a 10pm curfew.

The big story this past week was in France where a history teacher was decapitat ......

2020 Oct 12 - One Month To Go Until The US Election

The other night I was watching a show on the BBC about recycling and landfill and just like a lot of other BBC programming, it was rubbish. So what has been going on?

There's a series of new lockdowns going on around the world as politicians struggle to prevent new Covid cases or in many cases use the news for self promotion. Looking at my home country of Scotland, the government announced that bars would close for 2 weeks although given that people were warned in advance and may have overdone ......

2020 Oct 05 - President Trump, Debate & Covid

They say that a week is a long time in politics but this last one seems to have been longer than the hold time when you try to contact the council. This week we’re talking about President Trump and one of the biggest October Surprises in election history. Maybe not the biggest, that would go to the Russians in October 1917 when Lenin decided to cancel the idea of an election and just kill people instead, a classic Russian election technique still employed to this day.

Let’s stick to Americ ......

2020 Sep 28 - US Supreme Court

Ok, what to talk about this week? I was encouraged by Boris saying that the world needs to unite against a common foe and I initially thought, that it was time to go to war with Germany again, it's been a while after all and it's about the only way that you could get a flight overseas right now, in the back of an Atlas C1. What else? Well there's the recent 'rule of six' law which could very well lead to a murder at the home of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as they frantically try to avoid a ......

2020 Sep 21 - #Despite Brexit

A year ago seems like a different world, there was no Coronavirus (apart from inside that Chinese laboratory), and most folks were just desperately wishing that the news would stop going on about Brexit, I almost found myself reading the sports and entertainment section of the newspaper. But by far and away, the main people wanting to not hear about Brexit were the politicians trying to stop it. Most were just hoping that they could delay and delay and wear the public down until people eventuall ......

2020 Sep 12 - Brexit Update

I had a bit of computer problem last week but I’m not the government so it cost less than £10m to fix and unlike some politicians I didn’t later get a visit from the police to ask about the hard drive’s contents. But at least this week we finally have something to talk about this week other than Corona. Yes, it’s a return to Brexit which as any BBC panel show contestant would tell you, “sounds a bit like a breakfast cereal” and which most viewers would interpret as a sign that they ......

2020 Aug 31 - US Election Update

As the US election draws closer the country appears more divided than the flat pack desk I didn't get around to doing this weekend. It's made a number of commentators ask: what would Abraham Lincoln or George Washington would be doing if they were alive today? To which the obvious answer is scratching at the inside of the coffin as shouting so that someone can let them out. And Lincoln might be looking up that play on Wikipedia to see how it ended seeing as he missed the last 20 minutes.

But ye ......

2020 Aug 23 - Validimir Putin's Deadly Hobbies

Newspapers and magazines are always saying how you need to keep active in your old age I guess if Vladimir Putin wasn’t a former KGB autocrat he might enjoy a Sudoku puzzle or helping out at the village hall. But as it is he’s in charge of Russia and so this week saw the country’s opposition leader fall ill under mysterious circumstances and in Belarus his friend President Lukashenko remained in power despite huge protests, safe in the knowledge that Vladimir has his back, by which I mean ......

2020 Aug 16 - Biden Harris 2020 Campaign

This week I thought we'd talk the upcoming American election although I thought in passing I'd point out how good it is with Corona to see the British 'Dunkirk Spirit' coming out by which of course I mean thousands of trapped Britons trying their damnedest to cross the channel and escape France.

But anyway, the US election is entering the last couple of months of what has been the quietest and most lacklustre presidential election since the era when King George III was in charge and the electio ......

2020 Aug 08 - Beirut Explosion

There's an old joke about how do you blow up an Italian? Answer: Rigatoni. Anyway, this week it was Lebanon that saw a huge explosion after a blast ripped through the heart of Beirut, I've probably not seen such a massive bomb on tv since the Joey, the Friends spinoff. Perhaps Baywatch Nights would have been a better reference, that was set down by the docks after all.

Nonetheless, it turns out that the cause of the explosion was 2700 tones of ammonium nitrate, being illegally stored and and aw ......

2020 Aug 02 - UAE's Barakah Nuclear Power Plant

There are a couple of good things to come out of the Covid pandemic: there's no pressure to go to the gym, we know that China can unfortunately manufacture things that last longer than 6 months, and most importantly, Greta Thunberg hasn't been getting any media attention, although I guess that when airplanes are grounded it's pretty hard to fly around the world spreading your hypocrisy. But the environment is out there still, at least that's what I hear, I've not left the house much these past f ......

2020 Jul 26 - Coronavirus Update

Ok, let's do the coronavirus update, the main news is that fair few people are starting to go back to work, and not just the people that work at the crematorium. Restaurants and cafes are opening up and visiting a beer garden no longer means waking up in your back yard surrounded by empty cans. There's even talk about playing sporting events again, albeit with a rule about stadiums only being half full, though having been to a couple football games in the Scottish second division, that means bus ......

2020 Jul 19 - Twitter Hack

I'm writing this on July 18th and that's Richard Branson's birthday, maybe somebody got him a train set for it, hopefully not the government though because that was very very expensive last time.

What else is in the news? I see that Shamima Begum is also trying to return to the UK, something about losing an appeal. Appeal? I didn't think she appealed to anyone, other than the sorts that probably want a statue of her put on that plinth in Bristol. The guardian can call her stateless for all they ......

2020 Jul 13 - Roger Stone

I’m posting a day or or two later than usual after Ghislane Maxwell seemingly managed to survive this past weekend in prison, something that indeed surprised many, not least the people who have already likely instructed their lawyer to make her disappear. You know how these things work though, we all know that if there are what look like guard dogs in the prison, they’re probably seeing eye dogs for the legally blind prison staff put in charge of her safety.

Nonetheless, the main legal sto ......

2020 Jul 04 - Ghislaine Maxwell Arrested

Ok, this week it's a bit of an unfunny subject so let's start with a crime-related joke: A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors. But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect. Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.

But back to the topic at hand, Ghislaine Maxwell was arrested this week in America after an international hunt ended with the FBI showing up a a mansion in New Hampshire. She didn't own a Ford Bronco so they quic ......