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2018 Apr 27 - Royal Baby + Trump + Macron

This week the UK saw an assault of royal commemorative plates being launched with Kate giving birth to another child and Prince Charles cracking open a tincture of homeopathic champagne to celebrate. The baby weighed just over 8 pounds making it just slightly heavier than the special commemorative supplement you'll be removing from this week's Sunday paper; I guess it's up to you whether you use it for lighting the barbecue or stash it away in a cupboard as an investment, it could potentially triple in value and be worth more than a fiver in years to come.

Prince William was very excited to announce the new heir, although later a palace official sat down with him and explained that the doctor had sad new "heir" - not hair "hair" - and that he should just embrace the bald look. Come on William, it doesn't matter how much you try to look like Bobby Charlton, it's still not going to help England get past the World Cup's group stages.

Talking about crazy haircuts though, this week has saw President Trump busy as always. He arranged a visit to the UK scheduled for July, he phoned into Fox & Friends and invited his french pen-pal Emmanual Macron over to play. Those letters presumably go along the line of J'habite dans le White House, chest terrific. Macron actually has pretty respectable hair so Trump made a point of supposedly brushing alleged dandruff from his shoulder during a press conference. Later Melania was sporting a eye-raising white chapeau hat and Kanye West managed to anger 10 million twitter followers after posting a picture of his Make America Great Again Trump baseball cap, It was all rather strange. In the middle of it all, Emmanual Macron made a speech about globalism and Iran although given France's recent track record with the middle east and islamic extremists, he would perhaps be better trying to focus his efforts on gastronomy and convincing President Trump to not add Ketchup to a New York strip steak.
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2018 Feb 24 - Jeremy Corbyn the Spy?

This week I thought we'd talk about the Jeremy Corbyn spy story. Yes I know that the US school shooting thing is possibly a bigger news story but I try to keep these things funny and the gun control debate is about as light hearted as a poem by Wilfred Owen.

So to quote the security services "let's talk about Jeremy Corbyn." Was he a spy? Or did he think that novel "The Spy Who Came In From The Cold" was something about winter fuel costs and an excuse to re-nationalise the gas industry?

The ba ......

2017 Jul 28 - Banning petrol cars by 2040 plus Brexit


One of the problems with making promises is that you tend to be held to account, so this week we saw a promise about getting rid of petrol and diesel cars by the tear 2040. That’s 23 years from now when a lot of the politicians will be retired, deceased, rotting in a club in St James’ or simply arguing about how many more leadership elections it will take to oust Jeremy Corbyn. Given how electric cars have been coming along though it’s all fairly silly really, there’s an expression that ......

2017 Jun 09 - Shock Election Result!

So it's the morning after the night before and we got a shock result. Theresa May thought it would be a rubber stamping exercise, like getting your passport renewed except it was more like one of those awful bank applications where you have to supply 2 utility bills and then you're declined because due to a typo

Hats off to Jeremy Corbyn though, he didn't actually win a majority but he sure as heck managed to defeat the Blairites in the Labour party and that might mean we've finally seen the l ......

2017 May 04 - Labour Spending & EU Demanding

This week the EU claimed that if Britain wants to leave, it’ll have to pay €100bn and it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers where Dr Evil goes back to the 1960s and demands $100bn and is met by much bemused laughter. Perhaps Brussels want the cash to pay off the Greek national debt or bribe President Erdogan into staying friendly, That is if they don’t embezzle it first. If you ask me we should maybe we can try to kill two birds with one stone by seeing if we can pay any bill by g ......