2019 Nov 09 - John Bercow's Gone

The UK election about a month away and the chosen date (December 12th) is Frank Sinatra's birthday so depending on the result it will either be a case of "That's Life" or "Send in the Clowns" or perhaps Jeremy Corbyn will win in which case it's a case of "Fly me to the Moon"

But for voters in Buckingham, it's an especially exciting election because local MP and Speaker of the House John Bercow is stepping down so they actually get to vote in his constituency for the first time in a decade. Bercow's resignation is presumably part of the overall Westminster rebuilding that's seeing other forms rot and damage removed from the building. In his place Sir Lindsay Hoyle, the MP for Chorley, is going to be doing the job and please many by promising to bring back the more traditional aspects of the speakers job like the wig, robes, integrity and not being married to someone who sees the job as a way to make money from gossip magazines and the Daily Mail's celebrity sidebar. As for Bercow, I hope that he channels his Napoleon complex and applies for a job as an impersonator on the far and distant island of St Helena.

With a new speaker though, one of the lesser known parts of the handover is that the speaker gets a new scotch whisky made up for serving at the bars in Westminster. I actually got my father one of the Michael Martin bottles years back as a birthday gift and they're exceptionally good quality if you know anyone with access.

It's at this stage that I was going to spend a few minutes reciting some more John Bercow jokes but I'm already fed up with the mention of his name think David Cameron is the king of that skill really. He once told an anecdote about how Simon Burns (Health Minister) had bumped his car into John's. A furious Mr Bercow proceeded to storm out of his apartment shouting, "I'm not happy!" at which point Simon responded "Well, which one are you?"

Oh well, I always think it's important to be able to say at least one good thing about anyone, however bad they are, and so I'll end by saying that at least he's not been allowed to vote on anything this past decade. That's it really, all I can think of out of a decade of demented, delusional attention seeking arrogance.
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