2018 Dec 01 - That Brexit Bill

This week we got to see Theresa May in action. Wait, hang on, there's no space in there, it's one word: inaction. This week we saw inaction from Theresa May, a lack of action or persuasion, the amount of productive work you'd normally more associate with a Mediterranean country on a hot afternoon. Even she knows the Brexit bill is terrible but her advisors think that promoting it alongside Jeremy Corbyn on a BBC televised debate might make it seem more palatable, like a prawn sandwich that's past it's sell-by date but still smells sort of ok.

The Brexit bill will be coming to parliament and some Remainers are promoting it with the excitement level you'd expect if Led Zeppelin or The Smiths were getting back together whereas the bill itself is more a knock-off tribute band you'd see if you were on the ferry over to Zeebrugge. Or a get-together of the Brotherhood Of Man except not a lot of back-benchers will be 'saving their kisses for' May.

Currently there's a hundred back-bench government MPs voting against it, the government's science minister just resigned from the cabinet in order to vocalise his objection to it and in this topsy turvy up is down world I for once actually find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with the EU commission because they finally said in so many words what so many of us have wanted from the start which is that we either get a bad deal, or preferably no deal. By which they mean a no deal where you can purchase non-EU goods like Australian wine, coffee, computers, Dysons and a half the Argos catalogue without it being subject to European import duty because it wasn't made in France. Want to buy a Tesla? Wait until it's £10k less because the German car industry isn't passing laws to discourage you from buying one.

Whilst the continent would dearly love to rename Ireland "West Flanders" it stands that this time next it will remain exactly as it currently it because nobody in either Dublin or London is proposing actually building a wall and, as with Mexico, nobody's willing to pay for one even if they wanted it. If that means there's different rules on each side of the land border then it would mean it's exactly the same as it is now currently, with wildly different levels of taxation, business rules, different currencies not to mention a sudden break between the metric system and miles per hour that does little to help anyone other than those wanting to give a misleading 0-60 time for their car, quoted in kilometers.

It seems that British companies might have to start trading with the EU without getting a say on the rules of the game, the same torturous position that companies such as Apple and Toyota have to live with. If you're buying an advent calendar this weekend, get 4 of them, because whilst it's 25 days until Christmas, it's just over 100 until Britain leaves the EU and by a combination of blind incompetence and parliamentary procedure that makes it impossible to legislate for a new referendum in time, nor rewrite a new deal, we're going to be going WTO, by which I mean either "World Trade Organisation" or "Without The Obstructionists"
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