2018 Jul 08 - Theresa's Latest Brexit Plan

If you wanted a great visual analogy for Theresa May's premiership then you could do worse than watch a news report on those kids stuck in a cave in Thailand. They're trapped, in the dark and at risk of not making it to the end of the month, and that's just the Prime Minister. Mind you, because those kids have been living under a rock for the last week so they haven't had watch the round-the-clock build-up leading to a football match. Very similar to those other football matches you get most Saturdays. If you want to watch Harry Kane kick a ball around for 90 minutes in a game where half players aren't from England, the Premiership starts in a little over a month's time.

So, the Brexit deal though, what is it? Well you're best asking a civil servant in Brussels, they're the ones that appear to have written almost every page of it seeing as how Mrs May is apparently devoid of ideas. No doubt the interesting parts will be hidden in the appendixes, like when Gordon Brown managed to destroy all the final salary pension schemes by hiding extra taxes in the small print. Will there still be EU regulations for companies not trading with Europe? Will the UK still be majority voted into migration quotas? Will Guy Verhofstadt get majority voted into getting a new haircut? I doubt even the Germans could pull that off.

Right now, let's play a game: imagine that Theresa May has just handed you a wrapped up birthday present, you don't know what's inside but the wrapping paper has the same vague shape as a bottle of wine and it's the same sort of weight of a bottle of wine. Then you open it up and it's an empty bottle of wine but Theresa tells you that in spite of the critics, it's actually a fantastic gift because you can use it to decant wine into in case you need to store some.

Perhaps the idea is that this deal is purposely designed to fall apart so that we can get a no-deal Brexit, something that many want but which is broadly politically unsellable to the public at large. Except that unfortunately Theresa's not that sort of leader, remember that she spent the weekend at Chequers, not Chess.
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