Home

Welcome

2019 Dec 14 - Election Aftermath and the Labour Party

20191214
Boris Johnson has been re-elected and Jeremy Corbyn has resigned after being shown to be as popular on the doorstep as that childhood joke where you set fire to a paper bag with a dog poop in it. I thought this week I'd look at the online Labour reaction, using the 7 stages of grief framework.

1) Shock
When the BBC Exit poll first came out, people were astonished, to see something on the BBC saying something positive about the Conservative Party. It was surreal, like watching an episode of Through The Keyhole where Lloyd Grossman broke into the house before making off with the contents.
2) Denial
The denial part is where Corbyn Supporters saw the results and assumed that there must be several hundred Labour contituencies to declare. Even several days after all the counts are long done. Even putting Dianne Abbott in charge of the recount couldn't have fixed things though because the real denial though has been over the past 4 or years though, denying that Corbyn is unpopular outside of London. Denying that Brexit is happening, Denying the time of day to anyone that disagrees. That brings us to
3) Anger
Anger at traditional Labour voters who were apparently too brainless to do what they're told. The internet is a pretty dark place, just look at the anonymous comments underneath news stories about Prince Andrew, many of which are darker and more evil than the crimes being alleged. But the worst anger is reserved for the idiot, stupid, racist, bigoted, simpleminded scum that refused to vote for their local candidate who had cancelled a wine tasting and flown in all the way from Highgate to visit them.
4) Bargaining
This is where they think that it will be ok because the EU has the power to cancel Brexit, or the court system will intervene or maybe half the conservatives will still in principle be in favour of a 2nd referendum like that time Rory Stewart wanted to start a new parliament run from the upstairs room in a local pub. This sort of stuff is probably the most delusional part so far, more than that nonsense about putting Clive Lewis in charge of the nations broadband or banning airplanes or thinking that the British Army should spend the spring writing handwritten apology letters to Gerry Adams.
5) Depression.
Yes a lot of Labour students are depressed but the most depressed people surely are Theresa May who just witnessed Boris do what she couldn't, as well as Nick Clegg who knows that Boris is there for 5 years thanks to the rules that he put in place and the referendum that he spent years in opposition agitating for. There will be bearded man handing out presents this Christmas, but it won't be Jeremy Corbyn, although I suppose some Labour activists will take solace with the fact that St Nicolas was from the Middle East because everyone knows when a Turkish immigrant enters your home in the middle of the night it's because society is racist and the system (and you specifically) forced them to do it.
6) Testing.
This is where you finally "seek realistic solutions" which in political activism terms means the usual rubbish: Britain has changed for the worse and they're going to escape it and emigrate. Obviously they're not but it's important to suggest it so their friends know how liberal and left-wing they are. Actually, I will give Tony Blair some credit when it comes to this: fake mid-atlantic accent, 5-star hotel stays in Davos and a tan that makes him resemble the Cuprinol man, he's at leas made a decent go of staying as far away from the scene of his crimes as possible.
7) Acceptance.
This hasn't happened quite yet, the party isn't there, and be until a new leader takes control and does a full-scale review of what happened. As a shortcut guide though, 3 important questions to ask any Labour leadership candidates would be: "Was Bin Laden a goodie or a baddie?" "Do you think that Mossad controls editorial decisions on The One Show?" and "Do you know how to eat a bacon sandwich?"
Share >>>
http://www.calvinsworldnews.com/searchresults.php?searchfor=20191214

Older posts, click on them to expand:

2019 Dec 08 - UK Election a Few Days Away

20191208
It's been a very busy time of year for letterboxes, between the Christmas Cards, the election pamphlets as well as the usual assortment of local takeaway menus. Those places are presumably hoping to cash in on people burning their Christmas dinner and order in pizza, chicken wings and lamb kofta.

Those pamphlets though, there's only a couple more of them to come as it's just the last final couple of days before the election and I imagine for MPs it must feel a bit like being back at school a ......

2019 Dec 01 - London Bridge Attack

20191201
Carnage this week in London, at least that's what a lot of Arsenal fans will be saying down the pub, after the sacking of Unai Emery after 18 months of abysmal managerial malaise that made Leanne Wood look like Queen Victoria. David Cameron hasn't made a comment on that story, though it's probably because he can't remember if that's one of the teams he claims to support or not.

But the big story of course this week was of course a different kind of arsenal, the kind that armed police carry on t ......

2019 Nov 23 - Prince Andrew Interview

20191123
It was a quite extraordinary set of events this week after Prince Andrew decided to put an end to whispers and internet chatter by giving a full interview about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and it turned out to be probably the 2nd worst car crash in royal history. I'd go so far as to say it was actually more cringeworthy tv than that bizarre Royal Family edition of Its A Knockout that Andy and Edward conjured up back in the 80s.

If I was talking to you from a stage, I might ask anyone ......

2019 Nov 16 - Bad Election Week for Labour

20191116
I always have a bit of a laugh looking up the latest headlines and seeing what nonsense the BBCs website considers news. Example, "Could invisible barcode revolutionise recycling?" to which of course the answer is "could I care less?" Well the apparently the answer is yes I could care less about certain things, namely the ins and outs of the Labour Party manifesto because thanks to an week of political ineptitude, it has about as much chance of becoming reality as that dream I had where a Zebra ......

2019 Nov 09 - John Bercow's Gone

20191109
The UK election about a month away and the chosen date (December 12th) is Frank Sinatra's birthday so depending on the result it will either be a case of "That's Life" or "Send in the Clowns" or perhaps Jeremy Corbyn will win in which case it's a case of "Fly me to the Moon"

But for voters in Buckingham, it's an especially exciting election because local MP and Speaker of the House John Bercow is stepping down so they actually get to vote in his constituency for the first time in a decade. Berc ......

2019 Nov 02 - Election 2019 Announced

20191102
Hello again everyone and apologies about being on hiatus the last 2 week, I was on holiday without access to a laptop, which is presumably the same sort of expression that I imagine the Americans will use to describe Julian Assange's extradition to the US ("on holiday without a laptop") before he mysteriously disappears. On the other hand, it's not as if we missed much, it was mostly another two weeks of procrastination as Westminster sat around doing nothing before I arrived home and they decid ......

2019 Oct 15 - State Opening of Parliament

20191015
I'm posting a little bit late this week but I guess that's in keeping with the overall Brexit theme this year. Just be glad I don't copy the HS2 delays and send everyone an apology by means of an invoice.

But did anything of note even happen of late? Well actually it was the Queen's Speech, perhaps you didn't notice or maybe you were too full up with turkey and red wine, oh wait no that's the other Queen's speech. This is the one where she reads out whatever Dominic Cummings hands her, which th ......

2019 Oct 06 - Brexit (not a lot happening)

20191006
A couple of weeks ago it was was commanded by the courts that parliament must return to session; it MUST sit, lest civilization collapse, like the England football team in a penalty shootout. So everyone was sent back and almost no work was done because there's frankly little that can actually be done now by MPs until the Prime Minister decides the next move. It's like the bit in a chess game where people are staring at the board while the clock counts down and half the audience are actually sta ......

2019 Sep 28 - Democrats want to impeach Trump

20190928
Not sure if you've been to the cinema recently but whether it's the Avengers, Star Wars or Frozen II's upcoming release, sequels are all the rage. Which is why in America, the Democrats are keen to play to their base and make a sequel to the Muller Report with a wildcard and ultimately doomed to fail impeachment procedure. And as with Hobbs & Shaw, the 9th in that film trilogy, both are expected to be really really popular in California, but ultimately lacklustre and largely forgettable elsewher ......

2019 Sep 20 - Israel & Saudi Arabia

20190920
Two big stories coming out of the middle east this week, a part of the world divided along multiple disagreements: islam vs judaism, Russia vs America, whether or not a star should have 5 or 6 points or whether you should just depict a weapon on your flag because nothing symbolises a modern peace-seeking nation better than a big shiny sword.

First to Israel where a tied election has led to a stalemate after Benjamin Netanyahu received slightly fewer votes than his opponent, Benny Gantz. Both wo ......

2019 Sep 14 - David Cameron's Book

20190914
David Cameron left office a couple of years ago after resigning so what has he been up to? Well for one I saw that not too long ago the Chinese invited him to speak which only goes to show that it's hard to know who the British Prime Minister is these days if you decide to ban Google and Wikipedia. And it was china so it cost a few hundred grand because they don't like free speech. Anyway, in addition to scraping a living giving after dinner speeches he decided to do what most people do when the ......

2019 Sep 06 - Westminster Brexit Chaos

20190906
The last couple of days at Westminsters have been a mess, certainly far worse than anything I've seen and I'm in the process of toilet training a 3 year old. But let's try to simplify and lay out the process of how we got here:

1) MPs don't want to want Brexit to happen, even though the public do and many of those MPs were explicitly elected promising to deliver it. As an analogy This is a like me promising to buy kitchen roll from the corner shop, then spending the money on wine and later refu ......

2019 Aug 31 - Boris Suspends Parliament

20190831
I was once recommended that if you're buying lottery tickets then you should wear apache war paint and an American Indian head-dress because apparently "fortune favours the brave" and talking about that expression, Boris Johnson certainly upped his game this week, finally moving the Brexit saga into the end stage and putting an end to the bespoke stalemate and 3 years of can nothingness that Theresa May had so expertly crafted, in order to grind everyone down. The last couple of years have seen ......

2019 Aug 24 - Fires in Brazil

20190824
This week the French President met with the British Prime Minister and faced a number of domestic issues and so it was with little surprise that many news outlets decided to show all the investigative integrity of Fred West's gardener and instead they focused on a vacuous tweet he made about the fires currently raging in the Amazon.

The comment in question was about a number of admittedly under-reported fires in Brazil, although the press didn't seem to mind when the Olympics were being held in ......

2019 Aug 17 - Hong Kong Protests

20190817
Looking over the news I thought that the pop band "Flock of Seagulls" had died in a plane crash, but it turns out to have been been a plane downed in Russia after being struck by some birds. Makes a change from the government crashing a plane I suppose. Therefore this week we look further eastward to Hong Kong where protests have escalated faster than the number of lawsuits filed against Jeffrey Epstein.

This week there were shots of the the Hong Kong police firing pepper spray, certainly not t ......

2019 Aug 10 - Jeremy Corbyn wants The Queen to make him PM

20190810
Looking over the news this week, I wondered if the climate protesters were up to their usual tricks in London but it turned out to just be the 50th anniversary of the Beatles Abbey Road album and a bunch of idiots commemorated it by blocking the zebra crossing, which happens to be on a major road, while observing motorists sat motionless, wishing that the fans would start recreating the latter minutes of John Lennon's life.

There's also headlines about a power outage, although on further inspec ......

2019 Aug 03 - Meanwhile in Asia

20190803
This week I thought we'd look at what's been going on in Asia, because while many would like to equate the Brecon and Radnorshire bi-election as something monumental, pivotal, professizing the end times, it says a lot when the Liberal Democrats consider it an achievement to retake one of their long-held seats from a incumbent criminal. It's like boasting about putting on weight or writing in your CV that your key skills involve knowing how to do the Macarena.

In contrast, the Far East however s ......

2019 Jul 27 - Boris Becomes PM

20190727
This week Boris Johnson finally achieved his lifelong ambition of becoming Prime Minister; I guess that becoming the Prime Minister is the one aspect of life where you might actually want to copy something that Theresa May has done, obviously ignore everything she did afterwards. Anyway, long before Boris had even gotten out of the car, there was of course wailing and gnashing of teeth from the media with words like "mandate" and "democracy" being bandied around shamelessly, no doubt those in th ......

2019 Jul 20 - Brexit and the Grieve Amendment

20190720
We'll talk about some Brexit news in a moment but first I guess it's worth mentioning that it's 50 years this weekend since man walked on the moon and as Michael Collins remained alone flying overhead in the orbiter, we was one of the only the people in history to be both sad and both over the moon at the same time. Unfortunately though for the folks like you and me the prospect of commercial flights to the moon still remain as far in the future as the idea of a supposedly conservative governmen ......
www.000webhost.com