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2019 Jun 22 - Boris and Jeremy Hunt

20190622
What’s been going on in the world this week? Well I could tell you all about my addiction to reading books. But that's another story. What has been going on is a round of votes to decide who will be the next leader of the Conservative Party and therefore the new Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. The post is actually still held by Theresa May who is being about as pro-active in the legislative process as she’s been for the past 2 years: in the past week she managed to pass three times as many Brexit bills as she did last year, because 3 multiplied by 0 is still zero.

Anyway, the new PM, that choice has been whittled down by the MPs from a pool of narcissistic attention seekers to Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt, both of whom have been eyeing the job for years although for those who are not members of the Conservative Party, never mind parliament, the past few weeks must have been similar to an American watching the cricket world cup, but with Radio 4 rather than the dulcet tones of Test Match Special. The two candidates will now be looking forward to yet more posturing as they make their pitch to the conservative membership. If you are one of the lucky ones then I suppose you’ll be receiving your polling literature with the mail, and if you don’t read the Daily Mail then it will likely arrive with either your copy of the Telegraph or the Sainsbury's shareholder magazine. Either way, make sure that if you’re voting for Jeremy then you spell his name correctly, because he's had problems with that in the past.

Once the winner has been announced then tradition holds that the Queen will ask that person to Buckingham palace. The new Prime Minister will later sit at the table with the most powerful woman in the realm, Arlene Foster of the DUP. At which point we either have Boris deliver Brexit, or Jeremy Hunt wasting 12 months on a renegotiation, even though we already know that it will be about as productive as a liberal arts student using music to prove that some squares have 3 sides.
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2019 Jun 15 - Iran Oil Tanker Attack

20190615
Perhaps Iran should change its name to Irate because there's trouble afoot in the Strait of Hormuz after 2 oil tankers were attacked this week although I've been out that part of the world and frankly I don't see how a fire could have burned the boat worse than the regular day to day weather.

Anyway, the US has been quick to call out Iran as the mastermind behind it all, which seems a missed opportunity. Call me old fashioned but I would have liked to see the US organise a heads of state summit ......

2019 Jun 08 - D-Day Commemorations

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This week President Trump visited the UK and then headed over to France for the D-Day commemorations, personally I'd have done it the other way around: stock up with wine at the lower French prices before going to the Queen's party - are you expected to bring a bottle when you show up at the palace? Who knows, maybe he'd already bought a 40oz bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label at Duty Free when he was at the airport.

Back to the news, President Trump flew into London for the first part of his ......

2019 Jun 01 - Mexico Trade Tariffs

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The US trade war escalated this week as President Trump announced a new 5% trade tariff on Mexico. It's 5% on everything coming over the border and that rate is primed to go up faster than Boris Johnson's upcoming legal bill with analysts saying it could quickly ramp to 10%, 20%, 40% maybe. Very much like when I'm making margaritas.

The US-Mexico tariffs: ostensively it's to do with immigration and paying for a border wall, in reality it's likely got a lot to do with diverting the news from the ......

2019 May 25 - Theresa May Resigns

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Well the European election results aren't officially out yet but someone who is out is Theresa May, or last she will be soon because for the first time ever, May won't finish on the 31st but in fact June 7th. For the past couple of months she's been like a party guest who refuses to leave - you know the sort, you talk about ordering a taxi and they take it as a signal to start a discussion about much better Uber is and propose opening up another bottle of red.

As I said, at the time of recordin ......

2019 May 18 - Huawei

20190518
This week I thought we'd take a break from Theresa May to discuss Huawei, the Chinese company with a name that people disagree on how to pronounce. A bit like when people disagree on whether it's "envelope" of 'on' velope or how about even something as simple as the letter H. If you want to reduce the cost of healthcare, I'd ban access to anyone who pronounces it the "en haich ess"

Anyway, Huawei, not to be mistaken for Hawaii. The company is supposedly independent of the Chinese government an ......

2019 May 12 - Chinese Tariffs

20190512
Sometimes discussions about economics are nuanced and complex, just imagine the difficulty trying of trying to discuss the fishing industry’s net worth or the construction industry’s aggregate demand. Sometimes they say the point of studying PPE (politics philosophy and economics) is that at least when you’re unemployed you’ll be able to discuss in depth the reasons why.

Well the world of economics is back in the news now with President Trump proceeding with a wide range of import tarif ......

2019 May 04 - Local Election Results

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A wipeout for Theresa May this week in a set of local election results worse somehow than the quality of the services being provided by the councils in question. I think it was best summed up by two Conservative spokesmen, one of whom said the night had "gone downhill" and the other of whom described it as an "uphill battle". That wordplay is precisely the sort of disconnect you'd expect though, the Prime Minister believing that the public are annoyed her repeated failure to get a Brexit deal wh ......

2019 Apr 27 - Nigel is back for the European Elections

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If scientists ever develop a beer that comes in capsule form, then you could say that it was a "bitter pill to swallow" Apologies, that was dreadful, but something that is going to be a bitter pill to swallow for establishment politicians is that there's some elections coming down the line. In the past you'd normally get 2 parties, both of whom were variations on the same, like having to choose between water and molten ice. However, in both Europe and the US the last year or so has seen the emer ......

2019 Apr 20 - Notre Dame & London Protests

20190420
This week started with the sad news that a fire had almost led to the destruction of Notre Dame, and certainly Quasimodo will have to spend the next couple of years living on the Phantom of the Opera's sofa. The atrocity drove to people around the world pledging hundreds of millions of Euros to rebuild and President Macron says it may be rebuilt in just a couple of years, presumably because there's an election in 2022 and he'd like to reopen the cathedral as a last act of office before he's kick ......

2019 Apr 13 - Julian Assange Arrested

20190413
Just taking a look at the science news and apparently an Israeli space mission ended in failure when the rocket crashed into the moon, having presumably missed its original target of the Gaza Strip.

But the main news this week in my mind was the arrest of Julian Assange. After 7 years of living in the Ecuadorian embassy to avoid extradition to the US, he's finally been shown the (Ecua)-door let's just hope that he didn't leave his car parked outside otherwise he'll have face far greater consequ ......

2019 Apr 06 - May Asks Corbyn for Help

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I was once told by a motivational speaker to stand up for what I believe in, and I wondered, "what if it's comfy chairs?" Well this week Theresa May continued to stand for nothing and show no shame as she decided to invite Jeremy Corbyn in for talks, in a similar but different manner to that in which the Ulster police used to regularly invite in Mr Corbyn's friends in for questioning. This has of course gotten nowhere because Jeremy Corbyn is ideologically opposed to both aspects of what she's a ......

2019 Mar 30 - Theresa May fails a 3rd time

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There's that expression "third time's a chart" but it's not always true, as Theresa May found out this week after her third attempt at passing her "deal" achieved about the same level of success as someone heading into a pub claiming they can only stay for one. The Prime Minister's actually discussed having a 4th go at it and it's almost become like watching someone repeatedly failing to give up smoking or learn a foreign language. I wonder whether Theresa has a copy of the novel Finnegans Wake ......

2019 Mar 23 - Mueller Report

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It’s been a busy week, asides from Brexit one of the big stories was the announcement that ISIS had finally been defeated, which is similar in concept to when their shoplifters were de-handed on many an occasion.

But the big story of the week was the completion of the Mueller Report which revealed that, drumroll please… Revealed that the past 2 years have been a complete waste of everyone’s time. It makes Theresa May’s 2 years in Brussels seem fairly productive in comparison; at least s ......

2019 Mar 17 - St Patrick's Day Brexit Update

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It's been an especially violent and confrontational week but luckily today is St Patricks day, when we can forget about everything as we sip on a pint of Guinness and contemplate Ireland's long and famously violence free history. Q: What do you call a bulletproof irishman? A: Rick O'Shea Anyway, for now I'll stop, or should I say "backstop" because I suppose I should get back to the Brexit news.

The week saw Theresa May return to Westminster to have a second go at passing her Brexit agreement ......

2019 Mar 09 - North Korea Again

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Earlier this week I was wondering if Elton John liked Lettuce, then I realised that he was more of a rocket man. Well someone else who likes rockets is Kim Jong Un after satellite images this week revealed that the oversized dictator decided to rebuild the rocket launch site that had previously been destroyed.

Talks between the US and North Korea broke down recently so the communists decided to mark the occasion by rebuilding some rockets which will also almost certainly break down and fall int ......

2019 Mar 03 - India and Pakistan

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There was an especially high level of filler in the news this week, yet more articles about Brexit not to mention a selection of social and environmental stories that are about as newsworthy as if Fiona Bruce hosted a debate over whether to add the milk before or after the teabag. Yet in the mean time the world actually came pretty close to starting World War 3 this week when military tensions between India and Pakistan rose higher than an estimate for Jeff Bezos’ divorce bill.

The way that ......

2019 Feb 23 - Shamima Begum

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This week has seen a lot of debate, by which I mean politicallyy correct attention seeking, over whether teenager Shamima Begum should be allowed to return to the UK, after spending years living in ISIS controlled territory and discovering that 'ISIS' rhymes with 'crisis' and that like those still holding onto Blackberry telephones, the jihadist extremists are very much on the losing side these days; the territory held has been reduced to just a couple of hundred square miles, approximately the ......

2019 Feb 15 - Airbus A380 Ending Production

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This week saw Airbus announce that it was going to be ending production of its iconic A380, the double decker aircraft with a price tag as large as its size and its size matched only by the length of the security queue as people look at their watches and ponder two questions: 1) How is a bottle of water as dangerous as the machine gun next to it on the banned items list and 2) If you had planned to take a machine gun on board where were you planning on putting it? It certainly won't fit in the o ......

2019 Feb 09 - Jeff Bezos Blackmailed

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Celebrity gossip news this week as Jeff Bezos accused the publishers of National Enquirer of trying to blackmail him, in a salacious story that really brought home the difference between real world billionaires and those we grew up with such as Bruce Wayne or Scrooge McDuck who to my knowledge was never involved in a extramarital affair although he has been known to express a worrying predilection for gold coins which in the US feature a picture of Native American lady Sacagawea.

Anyway Shortly ......
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